Friday, March 02, 2007

Oh, Baby



"Is there any chance you're the baby's father?" I asked Flip. He's a musician. Surely it's possible.

He denied it. Insisted he never met Anna Nicole.

My husband is a faithful sort. And I'm younger than Zsa Zsa.

"Are you sure you're not?"

"I'm sure. Sorry to disappoint you."

We could raise a baby. I love babies. I feel terrible for that child. She may stand to inherit millions, but right now, she needs warm arms to hold her and a soft teddy.

I really want to know. In all the hoopla with her mother's funeral, and speculation that Anna Nicole's mother will body snatch her back to Texas after interment, who is taking care of Dannielynn?

Lawyers don't know how to change a diaper.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

*quoting* "Is there any chance you're the baby's father?" I asked Flip. He's a musician. Surely it's possible.


THAT is awesome. Thank you for making me laugh. :)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Anonymous,

Are you a musician, too?

And are you one of the baby daddies?

goodthomas said...

Yes, it seems lawyers can throw poop, sling poop, talk poop and dance around poop but I agree that they probably don't know how to change a diaper once it is filled with poop.

And I reckon that young Dannielynn will always need warm arms to hold her and a soft teddy. I don't think that need goes away.

Very funny stuff.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Thomas,

It's just that with dollar signs beating madly in all those chests, I would like to see some concern for a small baby who is alone in the world.

You have to wonder if any of those guys would have the slightest interest in her if she were not a very rich baby.

Bob said...

I'm a musician......

but it's not me. not even for millions. if there are any left after all of the lawsuits.

Michael C said...

We decided a few weeks ago that as good parents we were as qualifiend as anyone else to parent that child. it really is a sad saga going on. We'll defer to you and Flip though.

Jocelyn said...

I had a friend last week predict: "That girl doesn't stand a chance. She'll be dead of an OD by the time she's 22."

Something, for sure, needs to change in this kid's life if she's to stand a chance. Being raised by you and Flip would work.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Bob,

What instrument(s) do you play?

I'm glad/sorry (take your pick) it's not you.

Michael,

Very sad. The whole saga is so cartoonish that nobody involved seems to be thinking of this real, live child except as a cash calf.

There was more concern over choosing the funeral flowers and the sequined pink velvet coffin cover.

Jocelyn,

Thank you for the vote of confidence. I read somewhere that Anna Nicole may have done heroin during her pregnancy, so your friend may well be right about the baby's chances in life.

Lex said...

I've asked several friends the same question. So far no one has thrown his hat in the ring.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Lex,

I wonder if the lady, herself, knew who the daddy was.

Could this situation possibly be more bizarre?

Judith said...

She left a hell of a legacy for that child my only hope is that whoever takes care of her is that they and the child melt away into obscurity. Away from the public media and she knows a normal life. The best thing the child can hope for is adoption..

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Judith,

Sadly, that seems evident. ANS's mother and all those wannabe dads with their bornagain dadliness (!) because the child is rich... The whole thing is grotesque, and as with most custody battles, the child, herself, is lost in the struggle.

I see no chance for adoption if they can determine who her remaining biological parent is.

velvet girl said...

That poor, poor little girl. That's all I've been able to say about the whole mess.

-velvet

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Velvet,

I'm afraid that says it all. How will she feel when she's older and learns that her mother didn't get hit by a bus or other circumstances beyond her control, but self-destructed?

katrice said...

I'm very late and catching up. Two days ago it did get more bizarre. I read that none other than the insane O.J. Simpson is also claiming to be the baby's daddy.

I think that news was greeted with a universal groan. The whole world is sick of him.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Katrice,

Oh, no. Well, maybe it's true. All his ladies end up dead.

I"ve missed you!