Sunday, March 25, 2007


I needed some things at Safeway, so I asked Flip if he wanted to go with me. He likes beer. Since I do not, I am disinclined to think of buying it. He knows this. He came to the store with me.

When we came out, I heard him say, "We have matching dents."

He was speaking to a woman parked next to us in her black Toyota Camry. Our Camry is white.

I scrutinized her right front fender. Sure enough, there was a dent that was identical to the one on our right front fender, which Flip got at Whole Foods last week.

Whole Foods has a hazardous parking garage with pillars and badly angled spaces.

"I got mine at Whole Foods," said the woman.

"So did I!" exclaimed Flip. "Hit it on a pillar."

"No fucking way," she said. "That's how I got mine."

It was like a negative image, black car next to identical white car. The dents were in exactly the same place.

"I think mine is worse," she said. When you are truly competitive, anything qualifies.

I examined both. They looked like they were mass-produced in a factory. Even the scratches within the dents matched. Two on each. Perfection.

"I think they're the same," said Flip.

She looked at him intently. "Let's get married," she said.

As we pulled out, she called, "Wouldn't it be funny if we ran into each other?"

I laughed. "I hope you don't mean that literally."

"Oh, but I do."

"See you at Whole Foods," I said.


meno said...

The Whole Foods here is also a hazard to cars. Too few spaces, too many people competing for them. Big cars, small spots.

Good produce though.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Exactly. Good produce and dents-a-plenty.

The Moon Topples said...

.eno etisoppo na yllaicepsE .niwt a teem ot gnibrutsid syawla si tI.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Uoy reven wonk erehw rury rehtaf sah neeb, tub ot eb detnorfnoc htiw eht ecnedive nac ekahs ruoy dlrow.

Pickled Olives said...

I hope you run into her first.

Bob said...

everone needs a dose of surreality every so often.

furiousBall said...

I do hope those are organic columns in their parking lot.

Anonymous said...

That is beautiful, very funny. And what is it about Whole Foods? Good criminey. The same issues here. Bad parking lots and weird angles and issues.

And there is the feeling afterwards of accomplishment, of survival -- you escaped with your car, with your groceries, with a dollar or two left in your wallet.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Oh, goody. Matching dents on the front, too.


It was News of the Weird material for sure.


But of course. We'd expect no less of Whole Foods.


We call it Whole Paycheck around here. Maybe they purposely build bad garages so that feeling of relief will distract customers from how much they just spent for a few bags of overpriced food.

Thailand Gal said...

The Whole Foods here, "Elliot's Natural Foods", also has a very small parking lot. What's up with that anyway? I get my vitamins there but fortunately I am a pedestrian.



heartinsanfrancisco said...


Rents are phenomenal in San Francisco, which I'm sure accounts for the smallness of free, courtesy parking lots.

Sometimes I walk to a smaller health food store nearby, across from a great hardware store which exerts a fierce magnetic pull.

Pendullum said...

Flip had dent envy???
And I can not believe he is examining other people's dents???
Whole new world of picking up chicks...

heartinsanfrancisco said...


He's very observant.

I would never have noticed that our car's littermate was next to us, let alone that it was dented.

furiousBall said...

wouldn't it be great if they had a competitor named No Less Foods?

heartinsanfrancisco said...


And the companion store for anorexics, No More Foods.

MsLittlePea said...

That's a funny coincidence. I'm seeing a Yin and Yang joke in there somewhere...

thethinker said...

What a strange coincidence.

Our Whole Foods parking lot is a pretty horrible place to park too.

thethinker said...

I feel kind of silly for taking 20 minutes to decipher the backwards writing.

thethinker said...

Sorry for the third comment. (I should try to be more concise). But, you've been tagged!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sweet Pea,

No joke, it was reminsicent of the symbol.


I'm convinced now that they do it on purpose. See earlier comment about distracting us from the gouging we took at the cash register.

Imagine how I felt! But I wanted Moon to know that I speak his language.

So, was it good for you too, honey?

Tagged? Uh oh.

CSL said...

That's like some sort of vehicular yin yang.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I love that. Vehicular yin-yang. It sounds like a Michael Franks song.

velvet girl said...

If there were two of you, there must be others. Perhaps you can form a club. ;)


heartinsanfrancisco said...


The Dented Fender Mob. Or maybe the Camry Crash Club. Hmmm.

Guess what the initiation would be. (And then we would all go into Whole Foods and scarf organic cookies together.)

Robin said...

maybe the cars could mate and have mini matching cars with dents.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Their babies would be black and white, like police cars. I'd probably have to buy the cool flashing roof lights and sirens, though.

Thank you for coming by my humble ablog.