Monday, March 19, 2007
This is my 200th post. How time flies when you're having fun.
My daughter, Catie, urged me to start a blog for a couple of months before I actually did, in June. At first, it was like throwing a party to which nobody came.
But it was totally addictive, and I would have continued to set out my scratchings even without any feedback because I really love to write. Blogging gave me the illusion that I was writing without actually engaging in "serious" writing. And it helped to get my chops up.
Now, it just feels like the natural thing to do. The longer projects will get finished when the time is right. Or not. I feel that I am finding my voice here, as well as making new friends, and that is quite enough for now.
You guys are incredible. You have shown me so much humor, humanity, kindness, depth, and playfulness that I am constantly humbled. It is a privilege to know you. I am amazed by the breadth of talent and caring I have experienced, and best of all, I get to have all that great stuff without leaving home.
I have come to care deeply about each of you as you embrace your lives and report in like war correspondents from the front. It's like being hooked up to a hundred Aladdin's lamps. Whatever I need, I can find on one of your sites or another.
I just returned from physical therapy. I didn't really want to go today because I was deeply involved in um, blogging. But as always when I am reluctant to do a thing, there is some benefit to be had.
My regular therapist, the magnificent Deborah, is in London this week. I saw Tony, who teaches the Alexander Method, a system which emphasizes quality of movement and utilizes the close link between mind and body.
He was telling me that I need to slow down and think first. Since I am a high-energy small person whose impatience often gets me hurt, this was excellent advice. He said that movement was like lighting a fire. When I stop to think before doing so, I can put out the fire.
This is a perfect analogy for the way I habitually speak first and think later. I do this most of all with loved ones, who matter most. When I feel defensive, I do not know how to defuse the confrontation. I respond instead with words that can escalate it. I am always terribly sorry later, when it occurs to me that I really could have let it go. But didn't.
I need to stop doing this. I realize more and more how very connected our bodies and minds are. They are not separate entities that reluctantly put up with one other. They are each the other side of the other, and we cannot fully realize our potential as human beings until we integrate them fully.
Sounds like a pretty tall order for a short person.