Saturday, March 10, 2007

Just Right

There is a skunk in the garden tonight. He let one fly. I smelled it as soon as I got into bed.

I asked Flip to close the windows, which I had just opened.

He asked why. He has a deviated septum. Deviants don't have a very good sense of smell, while I have the nose of a tracking animal.

"Because there's a skunk outside," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I know it's not in here and I smell it, so I'm thinking it's probably in the backyard."

He closed the windows, but it was too late. The skunk might as well have been shortsheeting the bed, next to Truffle.

I brandished my Red Roses cologne by Jo Malone. It's lovely, but a bit strong. When I wear it, I spray the air in front of me and run through it. Sometimes I do this twice. Which is one time too many.

I gave our room about 4 or 5 good spritzes of Red Roses. I have found a new use for $90 cologne. It makes a great room spray. For an amphitheatre.

I have never understood moderation in anything. I think I have rose fever now.

Maybe we need to open the windows and let in a little more skunk to even things out.


Hel said...

Or sneak outside and sleep under the stars

Stewart Sternberg said...

You know what terrifies me more than the smell of skunk???? The smell of skunk when my dogs are outside.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


That is always a gorgeous thing to do on a skunkless night.

Thanks for visiting! I wish you the very best of luck with your huge decision.


Yes. Try one Bouvier, one Westie, and one man, all sprayed simultaneously by one skunk.

Tomato juice isn't as good as you may have heard, but it helps. Gallons and gallons of it. More tomato juice than you ever thought was in the world.

Hel said...

In response to your comment I went and read your February post. What a majestic looking creature!

Mine are wolfdogs. Fey, the mother, has a full wolf mother and a alsatian/wolf father. The puppies have a wolf/mix father.

I understand your love for her. I love mine so much it feels like my heart could explode. After I first read up on wolfdogs I worried that we made a big mistake but Fey is the gentlest creature I have ever met and her pups also.

Pendullum said...

A rose by any other name???

And may I add??
Ihave window envy... aswe are still in the throw of winter... and layers... and closed windows...
Life can be a pane...hahahaha

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Do you mean my post called "One Girl's Wolf?" I don't even remember when I published it, or I would have mentioned it to you.

Your wolf dogs are so beautiful! And Baby, who was pure wolf, was the gentlest and smartest creature I have ever known. People can be mean, but dogs are almost never so.

I've bookmarked your blog for speedy return.


Uh oh. Don't snap now. Spring is right around the corner.

A rose by any other name... Pretty funny, you.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I just checked. My post about Baby was in July. I'm not sure which one you're referring to in February, but I'm happy you're here.

Kevin Charnas said...

A skunk rubbed up against my face one night while I was naked in a sleeping bag. When I woke up and felt something nuzzling against my body, and then fur against my face, I reached down, found my glasses and flash light and found myself about 3 feet from a skunk.

Good times, good times.

Thailand Gal said...

A skunk in the back yard. Oh, heaven! LOL

I use "White Diamonds" perfume the same way you use Red Roses. It will definitely clear a room if there's too much of it around.

I'm not sure which is worse ~ White Diamonds or Skunk.




heartinsanfrancisco said...


War makes strange bedfellows. So does camping.


White Diamonds, probably. Isn't that one of Elizabeth Taylor's fragrances? I'm not familiar with the aroma (odor?) but imagine it's heavy and sickly sweet like Shalimar, my least favorite perfume of all time. (An elevator ride with someone wearing it can ruin my day. Seriously.)

Anonymous said...

I have had loved ones tell me recently that they don't mind the smell of skunk. Actually, they kind of like it. Now, they wouldn't want the smell there all the time but . . . well, it isn't a bad smell, they tell me.

I found that shocking when I first heard it and then was just tickled by it. How you are always told something smells awful, is meant to smell awful but then. . . once you step back a little, you think, to hell with what people say, I kind of like it. Now, I don't share that revelation, mind you, but I applaud it.

Kate S said...

LOL - skunk and roses. Now there's a fine combination.

Lee said...

Oh lord...skunky rose.

Or is that rosey skunk.

Both good names for a band.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Distant skunk odor, VERY distant, on the road is kind of pleasant in the way that melting road tar or gas stations are when you're a kid. But up close and pesonal is way too much skunkiness for me and my turbo-nose.


I gave it my best effort, but they didn't cancel each other out.


Skunk & Roses is a bit reminiscent of Guns & Roses, but suggests garlic.

Pickled Olives said...

Thats like potpouri spray in the bathroom. Gag.

thethinker said...

I hate it when I overdo spraying anything that smells too sweet. I get lightheaded very quickly.

I don't know how I'd deal with a mixture of skunk and roses.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I see your point. You're not wrong.


I like the idea of perfume quite a lot more than I like most actual manufactured scents.

Skunk and roses is not one of the better blends around.