Sunday, March 25, 2007
Someone has taken my Sunday paper again. What lowdown, smarmy, despicable, contemptible, cheap, underhanded, foul creature would do such a dastardly deed?
I am shocked.
I canceled my subscription a year ago because half the time, it wasn't on the doorstep when I went to fetch it. But the carrier usually drops off an extra one in front of my building, and I have come to expect it.
Today it was gone. Some scurrilous scumbag had purloined my free newspaper off the sidewalk as if it were there for the taking. Without asking me. As if it were just a free newspaper, for the love of God. I was in total disbelief. I looked twice to be sure, even in the bushes, but there was no paper.
Some other freeloader beat me to it.
I came back upstairs empty-handed from my unsuccessful hunt. Twitching like a bird dog whose pheasant got away. Now I'll have to buy a Sunday paper if I want one.
I didn't know anyone else in this building could read.