Sunday, November 12, 2006

Shaggy Dog Story


Flip got a haircut. We celebrated with coffee and croissants at the French bakery.

We were actually celebrating that his barber didn't amputate his head with her scissors. While cutting his hair, she announced that she hated to cut hair. She repeated it again later. This was really information that didn't need to be shared.

She was also wearing a bandage around her knee, over her jeans. I asked what she had done to her leg. She said it was broken. She had broken it on a visit to Vietnam in July, but didn't realize it was broken. How, exactly, does this escape ones notice, I wonder?

She said she just thought it hurt. It didn't occur to her that pain meant anything. She continued to walk on it.

"I can run faster than anybody," she stated. Well, okay. And you hate cutting hair. This is looking better and better.

I noticed she'd left some tufts on top, reminiscent of Big Bird. But no matter. Flip is taller than most people, so the top of his head is usually his secret. No blood was drawn, and croissants heal nearly everything.

Walking home, I noticed a dog I didn't know tied up outside a boutique. Male. Definitely male.

"That is the most over-endowed dog I've ever seen," I remarked.

Flip looked at him and whistled. "Where did he get THAT?"

"Well," I said. "He IS a Cocker Spaniel."

28 comments:

Odat said...

ah ahahahahahahahahahah!
Peace

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Yeah, Studdley is a real cutie. If I were a female Cocker Spaniel...

Nihilistic said...

I bet he's popular at doggie day care!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Nihilistic,

Yes, but he probably has road burn from dragging it on the ground. That little fluffy pooch was hung like a Mastiff.

mist1 said...

Size doesn't matter.

Hold on, let me try that with a straight face.

Size doesn't matter.

Sorry, I just can't do it.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Mist,

A lady dog involved with Andre the Giant there would be a sure candidate for hosing and stitches.

Pickled Olives said...

I tried to write out a drum roll that ends a punch line, but I just can't do it. Please imagine I did it as good and big as the cocker was.

Crankster said...

And to think that you saw him in November. In July, he must be dragging.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Olives,

I've always wanted to be set to music!

Crankster,

Too frightening to think about. Poor puppy needs a codpiece.

jali said...

I'm glad Flip wasn't scalped by the crazy broken leg "I hate my job" barber.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Jali,

Well, actually, he was. I would best describe the look as military-punk. When it grows out, he needs to see Eric, who last week gave me the only short haircut I have every liked In My Life.

djn said...

Did the barber want your pity and then maybe you'd tip more? It's weird that it would come up at all.

Michael C said...

Very funny ending!!! I guess we all walked into that one ;-)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Djn,

Pity? I don't think so. We tip well. It shouldn't be an issue. I think she just walked away and left her mouth running.

Michael,

That's why it's a shaggy dog story. Gotcha!

urban-urchin said...

Tell Flip to stay away from Sweeney Todd!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Urchin,

Too late. He's already met her.

Christina_the_wench said...

Who wears a bandage OVER their jeans? Had to be asked.

nmj said...

Ah, much as I loved my time in SF, I could never find a decent hairdresser! There was one particularly bad one on Haight...

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Christina,

Exactly.

Nmj,

I've had that problem everywhere, so I've had long hair forever. I think it's possessed, though... it was cut only a week ago, and is already noticeably longer.

nordicbitch and texass said...

hahahahaha! I never really appreciated Cocker Spaniels until this story.

An explosive said...

lol.... we had a cocker spaniel once.. well my cousin did while i was living with her... all it wanted to do was pee on the sofa... you would walk him only for him to pee outside come in and pee again on the couch!
`M

heartinsanfrancisco said...

NordAss,

Sometimes, the little guys surprise you.

My Heart,

That dog sounds like a real pisser.

Dan said...

I just can't get past the photo of that cute little dog ... ;)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Dan,

He is adorable. And loaded for bear.

katrice said...

Kwesi saw the picture of that dog and has declared that we are getting one when we move to Texas. Something about me not being able to resist that face.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Katrice,

Wait. You're moving to Texas? They have Internet there, right?

Um. My post wasn't exactly about his face. But I agree. They are an incredibly adorable breed and belong to a magnificent species.

Cece said...

What a gorgeous Cocker! We've got a white w/tan spotted cocker puppy.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Cece,

Oohhh, they're so cute!! Enjoy your puppy.

This is the first time in my life I haven't had a dog or a wolf, and I miss them so much. I play with other peoples' dogs at parks and beaches all the time.