Wednesday, November 15, 2006
A company that makes Barbie-sized talking Jesus dolls that quote the Bible donated 4,000 little saviors valued at $80,000 to the U.S. Marine Corps' Toys for Tots program. The toys were rejected when the Marines decided that religious items are not appropriate.
"We don't know if the kids we help celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa. For us, it's just a matter of financial need," said a Marine spokesman.
The president of One2Believe estimated that 90% of Toys for Tots recipients are from Christian backgrounds, and apparently isn't concerned with the others. "I don't understand why they can't accept a toy that promotes good values," he complained. "I just think that it shouldn't be that big of a deal."
He claimed the Marines violated their own mission "to help needy children throughout the United States experience the joy of Christmas." The company's Messengers of Faith collection also includes the Virgin Mary, Moses, David and Esther dolls.
In their attempt to keep the Christ in Christmas, they've gone too far. This could be a slippery slope, my friends. Barbie and Skipper. GI Joe & Ken. Jesus 'n' Mary Magdalene?
What's next -- Bobblehead Jesus? How about Anatomically Correct Inflatable Jesus? That one could be a big seller in convents.
I'm waiting for the Sodom and Gomorrha train set with plaster-of-paris lambs. Lots of graven images. And of course, all our favorite Disney characters in Biblical garb. Minnie and Daisy bitch-slapping each other over the role of Mary. I see Goofy as Joseph, and Huey, Dewey and Louie as the Baby Jesus triplets.
I bet the real Jesus is turning over in his Shroud of Turin. R.I.P., Jesus. You never meant for this to happen. Forgive them, for they know not what they do.