Friday, August 25, 2006

Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Planet?

The ninth planet, Pluto, has been demoted, and will henceforth be called a "dwarf planet." Like the artist formerly known as Prince. Who knew they could mess with our planetary system? I really thought it was safe from things like that. The nerve!

We are now gifted with a new and improved definition of what, exactly, makes a planet, and Pluto doesn't qualify. According to the newest spin, a planet must be:

(a) massive enough for its own gravity to keep it round
(b) in orbit around a star on its own without being a satellite
(c) the only large body in its vicinity due to having cleared away any flotsam and jetsam from the area.

So, in lay terms, it has to be Big and Round, Run Rings around another Body without any Support from Anyone, and Kill Off Everybody in its Way. Sounds a little like the War in Iraq.

Pluto is 1,800 miles in diameter. It has been around officially for 76 years, and it hasn't hurt anyone. So why the sudden haste to scrape it off our plate like a dead mouse?

Yesterday we had nine planets. Today we're at eight and holding. Pluto today, maybe Earth tomorrow. Who's next?


d~ said...

The mutability of reality....

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Yes. Around and around and around she goes, and where she stops, nobody knows.

kwesi said...

Well heart this is America, bigger is better isn't it?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Depends. I'm not very big, so I hope not.

I can't believe they took away my planet!