Monday, July 24, 2006

Ews of the Day

My husband just broke the news that when he was a child, he ate peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. It reminded me of my third grade playmate who once took me home for her special after-school treat, Wonder bread with ketchup.

I had a friend who never had anything to eat in the house -- her then-boyfriend remarked that she would starve her children to buy an eye liner. She once offered me a sandwich made of two pieces of dry bread around a few leftover cooked green beans. I declined, claiming that I wasn't hungry.

When I was at boarding school in 10th grade (until my parents figured out that I could underachieve for less money in public school,) the favorite sandwich in my dorm was white bread with American cheese, peanut butter and marshmallow fluff. It's amazing what you can get used to when you crave peer acceptance.

My friend from Greece once served me a boiled onion sandwich with a side of air. A little mustard could possibly have saved this one.

Let me say right here that I think anything with anchovies is inedible, but I have known one poor misguided soul who enjoyed them on baguette with mayonnaise and strawberry jam.

Send me YOUR favorite culinary triumphs on bread. I won't promise to try any of them, but a good Ewwwwww now and then is healthy for the system


Anonymous said...

My husband likes a salad he makes out of:
iceberg lettuce
green grapes
BBQ potato chips
sour cream
bacon bits

Watching him eat it makes me gag.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Just reading it made ME gag. Imagine going to the store to buy the specific ingredients for this recipe. Definitely not a dinner party dish unless you really hate your guests.

d~ said...

I have two inedible sandwich recipes.

My father used to make what he called a Chip Banjo. French fries with vinegar served between two pieces of bread.

And once when I was still with my former husband, bless his heart, I called him from my job to tell him I'd be working late and ask him to make me a sandwich and bring it to me. He wanted to know what goes on a sandwich, so I put out a few suggestions. I ended up with a totally repellant ham/jam/mayonnaise concoction.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Bless his heart, indeed. No wonder he's an ex.

As for the Chip Banjo --- Snoopy said it best: Blehhhhhkkkkkkkt.

Thanks for sharing, d~. Unfortunately, I have other dinner plans and won't be able to make it.

Christina_the_wench said...

Nasty combinations. A friend of mine made bologna and peanut butter sandwiches. And my father, oh my father, orders a dry baked potato at a restaurant and smothers it with ketchup. *cringes*

Btw, I'm new here. I'm Christina. Nice to meet you. Thanks for visiting my blog as well.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Christina, you have a great blog. I've been enjoying it. Thanks for visiting mine.. :<)

Bologna and peanut butter wouldn't be half-bad without the bologna, but I think ketchup is seriously overrated and overused.

The Law Fairy said...

A ketchup sandwich? I just don't understand that one.

I've eaten peanut butter and cheese before, and it's not completely gross. Or peanut butter-banana-honey, which is actually pretty tasty. Or maybe not -- I may have just made you gag ;)

I can't think of any particularly distasteful sandwiches, but one of my favorite scenes from Napoleon Dynamite is at the chicken farm, where they feed them egg salad sandwiches and hard-boiled eggs for lunch, with a glass of raw egg to down it.


heartinsanfrancisco said...

The allure of ketchup on bread, period, was quite lost on me even at eight. Did you know that peanut butter-banana-honey was Elvis Presley's favorite sandwich?

I haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite. Did they feed egg salad, etc. (raw egg - Yukkk) to the CHICKENS? I can relate. I used to show farmer's market tomatoes to my scrawny tomato plants so they would understand what, exactly, I expected of them.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

P.S. to The Law Fairy:

Paul Simon's song, Mother and Child Reunion, refers to a chicken & egg dish he noticed on a NYC restaurant menu.

Beth said...

My Dad has always loved peanut butter and vidalia onion sandwiches **gag**
My brother has always loved meatloaf sandwiches - consisting of 2 pieces of bread, a slice of cold meatloaf and ketchup **gag**

By the way - Elvis' favourite sandwich was actually fried peanut butter and banana (fried in about a pound of butter)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

To Beth,

I checked out your blog and wanted to respond, but you don't accept anonymous comments, so I'll have to make them here:

I'm thinking a hate like this is very special, and comes around only once in a lifetime.

Hey listen, when you're through with the rabid raccoons, can I borrow them? I know someone like that, too.

I love your blog! Thanks for visiting mine.

Beth said...

How do I set it to accept anonymouse comments? I don't mind who comments! I love comments!
Thanks for telling me about that - I'll go see if I can fix it in my profile!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Hi Beth,

To accept anonymous comments, go into your Dashboard to Change Settings, click on Comments. Among the questions, you will see Who can comment? Set it to Anyone and you're good to go. (Of course you have to save changes, etc.)

I'm glad you're opening the door - you're a very funny lady and I LOL'd at the co-worker from Hell post.