Saturday, September 16, 2006

Self-Inflicted Wound


I cut my hair today. Myself. I hate it when I do that. Pulling sections from the back under my armpit to the front to prune them with office shears is probably not the best way to go. I hacked off about 5 inches, more in places, but there's still enough for a professional to work with if I want to pass for a little boy in drag. Or Grace Jones. Hey, there's an idea! Scalpel, please. With my luck, I'd look more like Ghandi or Elmer Fudd.

My bathroom garbage basket seems to have a small, dead animal in it. Maybe a cat. Or a wombat. With no discernible head or tail, just a lot of hair. Ex-hair. Brown. Unhappy. This hair has been disconnected. Would you like to make a call?

10 comments:

Michael C said...

Very funny...I was cutting my hair for the last several months. I've stopped now as watching people laugh at me as I passed by was getting kind of old. At least you left enough for someone to work with, I did look like Ghandi ;-)

Lex said...

Hahaha! I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. I cut my own hair from time to time because I'm...well, frugal. The last time I cut it the left side was markedly shorter than the right, and since I didn't want to lose any more length, I just let it work itself out.

It's fine now. You can't even tell. Moral of this story: it grows back!

No te preocupes.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Michael,

I think I do this periodically to force my own hand. Now I HAVE to take it into the hair-repair shop for some remedial work. I tend to procrastinate on things like this until it has its own zip code.

You really looked like Ghandi? :<)

Lexi,

No soy preocupado. I wore a watchcap today. I have several. I can get more if I need to. No problem.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

My husband, Flip, offered the following suggestion:

"Why don't you go to someone who can see the back of your head?"

Well, gee. What a great idea. I wish I'd thought of that.

"Do YOU want to do it?" I said.

"Sure. I'll give it a whack."

Hey, y'all, watch this!

MmmmmmmMaybe not.

katrice said...

Husbands can be so insightful. LOL

As a teen, I used to trim my own hair, because I wasn't allowed to have it cut. But as an adult I hacked my hair off once. It wasn't good. I did it because I was extremely distraught about something else. Bad idea! I'm a lot more stable now. LOL

Odat said...

Oh I completely missed seeing this post....I'm laughing because I used to do the same thing..I figured it didn't matter...I have long,curly, thick and wild hair...who would notice anyway? And like you ...I always had to have it repaired by a professional....

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Katrice,

My father once hacked off most of my hair because I painted it with mercurochrome to be a redhead like my best friend. It turned pink. I looked like an 11-year old pink porcupine. I'd be right in style now.

I cut it all the time as a teenager because my parents didn't think young girls needed to go to the "beauty parlor." It didn't look that bad, but I have higher standards now. Hats R Us.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Odat,

Curly hair can hide mistakes to a point, and straight hair is easy to cut. Mine is thick, wavy, and independent with its own moody agenda. It's sulking now. It does not take kindly to haircuts, as I've had many really bad professional ones, even from expensive stylists, so I tend to put the whole thing off for years at a time until something snaps.

And then we start the whole cycle again. Sigh.

PARLANCHEQ said...

Wow, you're brave! I am pretty sure that I should not be allowed anywhere near hair with a pair of scissors. Though I did used to try to convince my kids that I could do a decent job cutting their hair...they never believed me.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Not brave. Stupid and out of control, maybe, but definitely not brave. I am a person who should not be trusted with sharp implements at all.

I used to cut my son's hair when he was a toddler. I did it while he slept because he had a Sampson thing going at the barber's. I would have preferred not to cut it at all, but his father insisted he look manly. At two. :( !!

I've had many bad haircuts from pros, so periodically I figure if someone is going to ruin it, it might as well be me. I always suffer cutter's remorse afterward.