Saturday, September 16, 2006

Playing Tag With Cops

I heard sirens and pulled over. A motorcycle cop positioned himself so I couldn't get back into the road as more than 2 dozen wailing police motorcycles and about 10 police cars whizzed by, a black limo in the middle.

I gave chase to try to find out who was in the limo, but they whipped around a corner and disappeared so fast I wondered if I'd imagined the whole thing.

I looked everywhere, but they had completely dematerialized. I don't think it was the president because I didn't see any Secret Service personnel, just a million police officers. Maybe it was Arnold. He probably gets a police escort.

Or maybe I just look so scary with my chainsaw hairdo that I activated some mythical police force that protects citizens from anything unsightly. There really are no ugly zones in San Francisco.

But I still believe. I believe that any day now, those agents from my home planet will remember where they left me so long ago and come back to get me. They WILL. I'm sure of it. Maybe tonight.


monicker said...

Hate to break it to you, but that "distinguished" visitor was none other than Dick Cheney. I don't think Arnie knows how to get to San Francisco.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

So you're telling me I wasted some gas trying to see who it was? I heard he might be here at some point to raise funds, but the news made me yawn so I didn't pay much attention.

The only things Arnie knows are not fit to print here.

Thanks for your visit, Monicker. Your blog is great and I hope you worked out your dinner quandry.

Lex said...

How anti-climactic! Cheney? That's it?

Why does it seem like this guy goes into hiding for months and months on end?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Well, that's a GOOD thing, isn't it? The hiding part, not the motorcade. Cheeesh. I've been had. I feel so cheap.

Just D said...

I loved the No Ugly Zones comment.

Making a mental note to use that at a later date.


heartinsanfrancisco said...


Thanks for stopping by, and for the compliment.

I tried to comment on your blog earlier, but Safari couldn't open the page. I'll try again because I really liked your new post.

djn said...

You are cracking me up! I have a friend that as soon as a motorcade passes, will catch up to them and mooch off the event so he can get to where ever he's going faster. Did I say that right? Anyways, sorry it wasn't more exciting than good ol' Dick.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Yeah, can you imagine? A million cops, all breaking the speed limit. It's not fair.

Does your friend also mooch off funeral processions? That could work, too, unless he really doesn't want to go to a cemetary.

djn said...

Yes, he mostly mooches off of funerals. He just turns on his lights and gets in line!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Well, all right then. Cemetaries are nice. Quiet neighbors. And corteges get the right of way.

(When I was a child, I always referred to those wedding processions with streamers and tooting horns on the Just Married car as "corteges." My mother found it upsetting that I confused weddings and funerals.) I'm just saying...

~Macarena~ said...

What do you mean, "confused" weddings and funerals?

I hope you can still blog when you're on your home planet.

Both Cheney and Ahnold should have Secret Service.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Well, I had never been to a wedding or a funeral when I was a child, but both events seemed to feature processions of many cars calling attention to themselves. I knew the difference then, but after my first marriage, I realized that I had actually stumbled into some deep, arcane truth back then.

If I can't blog from there, I'm not going.

Both Cheney and Ahnold should be in one of those funeral processions.