Friday, April 30, 2010

The Little Haircut that Couldn't


Here's a first. I was rejected by the hairdresser I hoped would correct my recent haircut that resembles a bad Farrah Fawcett wig. It turns out it's even worse than I knew because I never look at the back of my head, but operate on the theory that what I don't know can't hurt me.

I normally have a lot of hair, but Hairdresser #1, we'll call her Annette, thinned it so severely that the crown suggests male pattern baldness while the rest of it bulges oddly on all sides. Carlos impressed me wildly with his honesty in turning down the price of today's haircut plus tip because he thinks it should grow out for at least three months first.

So I made another appointment for June, which is only six weeks, because I am not a paragon of patience and because my birthday is in late June. I'm hoping to look presentable by then. Meanwhile, maybe I can learn to do that adorable comb-over favored by deluded old gentlemen, or shave it off like Grace Jones, Sinead O’Connor and Britney Spears. But seriously, who gets rejected by a hairdresser? I laughed all the way home.

23 comments:

TechnoBabe said...

Hey, you laughed. Better than crying. Some hairdressers are just not good giving haircuts.

EsLocura said...

I have been looking for the right haircut/hairdresser since I move to Puerto Rico from Boston. That was 4 yrs ago, but I am so rocking this last cut, it looks fabulous (she said modestly) my point: there is hope : )

mischief said...

At some point I grew too neurotic for haircuts. Now I manage one maybe once a year. The thing that makes bad haircuts and no-haircuts bearable is the ponytail. I know I'm too old for a ponytail and I don't care in the least. I would like to recommend the ponytail to you too.

Cloudia said...

Wise laughter. You dodged a bullet!



Aloha from Hawaii


Comfort Spiral

nick said...

I've never heard of a hairdresser refusing to do a cut before! That's remarkably conscientious of him wanting to wait for a while. You were certainly very unlucky with your previous haircut. If customers got their money back for a dreadful cut, I think some salons would be losing more money than they made....

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Babe,

Crying would take energy that I need for growing hair. I began to worry when she flat ironed it to cut it. Dry. I sensed that nothing good could come of that, but it was too late.

Eslocura,

I'm happy for you! I do not look in the least fabulous.

Lisa,

That would be a partial ponytail, as only some of it will stay in a clip. I share your neurosis, with good reason.

Cloudia,

Maybe so. I was impressed with his honesty, but I always assumed a good hairdresser could fix other people's mistakes.

Nick,

I just hacked off about 4 inches and am thinking of shaving it off and starting over. Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Maria said...

I once was saved by a hairdresser when I fell asleep in the chair (Liv was an infant with colic, so...hey, I was SLEEPY) and was given a MULLET.

It would make a good blog post....

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Maria,

I think that's what this is - it looks like two (at least) different haircuts. There will be no photos.

I've been trying to figure out if she hated me or was simply colossally inept. Not that it matters.

the only daughter said...

Eventhough I now go very, very low it can still go horribly wrong. I have an ok (barber) but still not perfect. yet.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

OD,

Ah, well, it's only hair. Maybe by my birthday NEXT year it will look better.

secret agent woman said...

Couldn't he at least even it out some? This is why I don't get my hair cut professionally.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Agent,

I don't know what his act was. The more I think about it, the more puzzled I am. I took care of the length myself - it's the extreme thinning out Annette did that's the problem, one I never thought I could have.

But I don't even LIKE oreos. said...

I went to a "hair show" when I was 25- basically, a Vidal Sassoon training exercise for people who just learned to hold scissors. They sheared my whole head, except for a long curl on each side... I went to the fanciest salon in Beverly Hills for a consult, and the nice young man snipped the two curls, and refused to take payment. It was all he really could do, granted, and I could have done it myself... but i still felt slightly happy he didn't charge me. And then I just got used to being hit on by girls... for a long, looooong time.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Oreos,

Are you sure you didn't wander into an Orthodox shul by mistake? Did they pray while they gave you earlocks?

All those girls had taste - I'm sure you looked great even w/o any hair.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

May I humbly suggest some lovely new spring hats?

Tis the season, you know.

;)

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Cecilieaux said...

Annette must have worked in a monastery. She gave you a classic tonsure. Now all you have to do is apply at your nearby Benedictine monastery.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Scarlett,

I'm on it. With great big brims.

Cecil,

That is so very comforting. But isn't it "get thee to a nunnery" for those of the female persuasion?

Cecilieaux said...

@HSIF re: nunnery

Well, yes, but nuns don't get tonsures. So you definitely have to go to a monastery. Put an empty toilet paper tube in the strategic location and you're set.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Cecil,

You do realize that if a woman compared penises to empty toilet paper tubes, there would be widespread pandemonium, right?

Cecilieaux said...

Oops! that was the wrong post. this is the correct one. So here goes: Why pandemonium (over tube used to look like penis)? What about "Yentl"?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I figured that out. Here is my response to your comment on that post:

Cecil,

You must have meant this comment for a different post. I think Yentl was just unhappy that as a female, she was not encouraged to use her good mind.

Meredith B. said...

I had a medium length bob that a hairdresser destroyed. She kept cutting to fix it. And by the time I stepped in and said "enough" it was horrible. My new guy (almost 2 years new now) had to give me a super short but chic haircut because I was going on an interview. i got the job. Needless to say, sometimes a good short cut is the answer. It's only taken me near two years to grow it back to that original bob length.

Good luck. I feel for you.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Meredith,

I'm thinking short is the way to go, too, although I usually try to avoid it because my hair pouffs out when it's short. Oh well, it's just hair.