Friday, August 24, 2007

It Makes Me Proud


I feel silly. I have been known to rant about the skewed values I perceive in our society, children dressed as hookers, schools closing so that we can build more weaponry with which to bring our messages of mass freedom (MMF's) to other countries. I have even remarked that the U.S. will soon slip, giggling, into the sea.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope for us and for the future of mankind. We will not dwell in the valley of the shadow of death forever.

There is now the butt-cam.

A Scottsdale, Arizona store has eliminated the need to ask ones trusted friends or significant other, "Does my butt look fat in these?"

The cameras are set up to capture an image of ones rear end so women can see how those jeans really look without twisting their necks.

And I. am. speechless.

40 comments:

WNG said...

I'm torn. I want to make fun of it. I want to laugh at the idea of it being something that anyone would want, much less pay to install in their store.
But I'm about to go shopping for a "meet the parents" dress and that would probably be helpful...(hangs her head).

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Wng,

Yeah, I know. I can also see the usefulness even as I complain about the shallowness of it.

I guess that makes me a shallow person with high ideals.

MsLittlePea said...

I'm not sure what to think about butt cams...not so much that we're a shallow society but lazy. How hard is it to turn around and look in the the mirror or walk a few steps to the two way mirrors? I just went jean shopping the other day and my neck doesn't hurt.

I loathe to admit that I would totally use one though :o)

The thing is the camera adds ten pounds so what we really need to be asking ourselves is do we really want to see our asses from that angle with an extra ten pounds?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sweet Pea,

I thought of that, too, and wouldn't be surprised if the camera is somehow set up to make butts look smaller so women will buy the jeans. Kind of like carnival fun house mirrors in reverse. :)

the walking man said...

A wise significant other taught all of us other significant others to always answer the question "do these make my butt look too big"

"No Honey, you have the finest butt in this side of the Mississippi river!" We also learned through genetic coding to answer with great enthusiasm.

ergo the butt cam is a scam to get you in that store, which if I remember correctly is the only one in the US currently using it.

Peace

TWM

It would produce more honesty though if the image of the butt in question were projected on a 65 inch plasma tv just outside the womans changing room.

thailandchani said...

I have to admit.. I wouldn't buy one. LOL

How weird does it make me that I simply don't care what anyone thinks of my derriere? At my age, we just accept certain realities.. that things shift and change with the force of gravity.

:)


Peace,

~Chani

Voyager said...

I would be terrified to use it. What if my flatt middle age butt appeared all over the internet the next day?
V.

Open Grove Claudia said...

Well hurray - one more item that will not be on my shopping list! :)

Thanks for sharing!

Liz said...

Just wait till someone finds out that someone is taping these people checking out their behinds. Then a lawsuit will be filed and someone will go home with more money in their back pocket!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Walking Man,

Actually, the store does have the cam posted outside the dressing rooms.

In any case, it sounds as if you've got it wired. "No honey, etc." will never steer you wrong.

Chani,

What's this "gravity" you're talking about?

Past a certain age, denial is everything.

Voyager,

Funny you should mention that. The store owners are considering making a video, "The Best Butts of 2008," which may even be legal since nobody's face would be showing.

I don't live in Arizona, but I'd never shop there if I did.

Claudia,

We're here to help. Just think of the money we'll save if nobody buys jeans anymore.

Of course, then I wouldn't have anything to wear at all.

Liz,

I love your entrepreneurial spirit. :)

As stated above, I'm not sure it would be illegal if they didn't show faces. And that's downright scary.

seventh sister said...

I think a concave lenze might make the subject look a little smaller. I still be ascared of that thar thang.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I recently did a post on our perceptions of whether technology would really solve mankind's problems or lead to our decline. This "butt-cam" is an example of what I am talking about!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Seventh,

Well, they're certainly not going to use a wide-angle lens if they want to sell those puppies.

Squirrel,

I'm voting for decline here. You?

My Reflecting Pool said...

AACK!!! For the love of god why? WHY? There is no reason to see ones tushie from the angle of a toddler. Is there? I just want to know if the jeans round and shape the rear or let it hang out like the fishermans catch of the day. Blah.

riseoutofme said...

Unbelievable.

What next?

A pacifist for President?

eastcoastdweller said...

Some seem for, some against. So I guess those for it will love it, those against can ignore it.

Molly said...

I guess this means we can all die happy now? Or unhappy. Depending how your butt looks on that butt-cam.....

liv said...

in the comments: "I guess that makes me a shallow person with high ideals."

giggle. I think I am of the same ilk.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Reflective,

It never occurred to me that my butt might resemble the catch of the day, so thank you for giving me one more blooming neurosis.

I may have to start wearing skirts.

Riseout,

Now THAT would be truly innovative.

Eastcoaster,

And some people would rather not know if they have a fatal disease. I think if it's there, it will win converts sooner or later.

Molly,

Surely there must be Something Else in life... I don't know what, but I'm guessing.

Bottoms up!

Liv,

Well, we never claimed we were Mother Teresa.

It's way better than being a high person with shallow ideals. :)

Ian Lidster said...

Utterly awesome, my dear friend. Just another one of those little ways in which technology makes our lives so much fuller. I am so glad I know about this, even if my butt is already gorgeous.

Josie said...

Omig*d...! Remind me never to shop there. Who would actually want something or someone to tell us the truth about whether or not our butt looks big? Perish the thought...!

If I can't see my butt, I just sashay along, assuming it looks charming. Isn't that what it's really all about?

mcewen said...

What a jolly good idea!
Cheers

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Ian,

Fuller lives, fuller butts...isn't technology amazing?

Josie,

Works for me!

Mcewen,

I suppose. Of course, I'm someone who rarely brushes the back of my hair because I can't see it.

The Law Fairy said...

:(

Far as I'm concerned, the less attention on my butt, the better. I already know it looks fat, because that's simply where I carry all my weight. Now I gotta worry about cameras following it around?? :P

Girl on the Run... said...

I read about that too I thought it was a joke! I guess I was wrong! Well C'est the la vie.. what's next? Maybe I shouldn't ask....

M

thethinker said...

Do people not know how to turn around to look in the mirror?

That's what I do anyway.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Law Fairy,

I prefer to carry mine in my purse, but nobody asked me.

Maria,

Sometimes it's better not to know what's next.

Thinker,

So do I. They usually have three-way mirrors which tell you all you need to know.

jali said...

I need dorections to the "butt camera free zone" - I ain't havin' it.

I have an image of myself that I'm determined to maintain - I don't want to see the light.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Jali,

I also swallow pills poorly, so I don't buy that "for your own good" shit at all.

witnessing am i said...

But what about a cam for our blogs? Does this post make my blog look fat?

I need that desperately. Not you, my "recommended read" friend, but the rest of us do.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

David,

Your blog is incredibly svelte and stylish, but I've probably made your ego fat.

Odat said...

hmmm....errrr,,,,,ahem... ok I'm ready,...
I do so much clothes shopping that I think that this may be a little bit useful....********running away now************ byeeeeeeeeeeee

Peace

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Odat,

Right behind you. (Er, um.) I can see the benefits of this, too, much as I rant about it.

There is a certain confidence in knowing that your ass looks great.

CS said...

Okay, aside from the fact that the name "butt cam" is hysterical, it could be useful. Although mirrors on both sides of the dressing room are the low tech version already in existence.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Cs,

I think the butt cam is for those too lazy to turn their heads. (That's pretty lazy.)

Sven said...

If the butt-can was invented by a guy I doubt the original intent was to assess the fit if the clothing.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sven,

I'm sure you're right. In fact, they even said they might release a video, "The best butts of 2008."

There will probably be law suits at some point. Maybe even by those who didn't make the cut.

Sven said...

Geez...where did I learn how to spell?!?

It that should be butt-cam not butt-can and of not if.

You are right about the losers. They'll be the first to sue.

Parlancheq said...

Boyfriends, mothers, etc. will lie about the size of your butt so you can still feel good about yourself, but cameras and mirrors never lie. Down with the butt cam!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Parlancheq,

AND the camera adds 20 pounds. Who can afford that?