Friday, June 01, 2007

Moral Dilemma

Interesting developments next door. For the last week, Next Door Whore has been clattering around her apartment in her ubiquitous 7" heels, moving boxes and racks of clothing out. She even had a helper, her cousin who "might be staying there once in a while." I asked if she was moving. She said she wasn't, that she was house-sitting for a friend nearby until the end of the year and would then be traveling in Southeast Asia for several months.

"What kind of work do you do?" I asked.

"Oh, I quit my job a long time ago," she said. Nice. She said that she was moving her clothing to the other place so she wouldn't have to stop in here every time she needed something. It takes six days to move all her clothing? I calculated how long it would take me to move all my clothing. About an hour, counting the taping of boxes. And a couple of tea breaks. Maybe a short nap.

"Are you subletting?" I asked.

"Oh, no."

Yesterday, a crew of moving men came and removed all her furniture, then carried in a houseful of different furniture, directed by the cousin.

I said to the cousin, "So you're moving in?" She looked annoyed.

"No, just a little clothing," she said. We didn't talk further because we were blocking four moving men hauling an eight-foot couch up the stairs and into the apartment. Apparently, she wears couches, easy chairs, dressers, lamps, and a stupendous array of large wardrobe boxes.

I suspect they're trying to do an illegal sublet so the rent won't be raised. San Francisco has rent control. Landlords are allowed to raise the rent only a certain percentage, but for a new tenant, they can ask market price. A rental agent would also get a commission for renting the space. These apartments are going for a lot more than when Jackie moved in over two years ago. Probably the only thing that's true is that they are cousins. They both look like rodents. Flip says it's none of my business, and while he's technically correct, I think it is my business who lives next door to me. This is a small building with only nine apartments. It's hard to be anonymous in such a small crowd.

My ethical sense is offended, and I resent that they lied to me. I can think of ways to bust them.
(a.) When I pay my rent, remark to the rental agent that I wish I'd known the apartment was available because I have a friend who would have been interested. Does she think that anything else in the building will be vacant soon?
(b.) When Rodent #2 blasts her stereo as her cousin did at ungodly hours, complain that the new tenant in 102 is very noisy, and what do they suggest I do about it? Both of which should elicit a "HUH? New tenant?" from the management company.

I have no affection for the management company. The head person is shockingly nasty, and the building owner is a pig. They make repairs as cheaply as possible. They destroy gardens. They have been known to let themselves into occupied apartments without the requisite 24-hour notice for non-emergencies.

If Jackie had told me the truth, I would have been on her side. But she and her cousin, the new non-tenant, both lied to my face and expected me to believe that one was not moving out and the other in, despite the fact that their movers were here all day. With a huge truck blocking our driveway. Bumping large house furnishings up and down the stairs for hours. How stupid do they think I am? I know, I know. They don't owe me an explanation. But I don't owe them any loyalty. Besides, wouldn't that make me an accessory after the fact? I am not eager to incur bad karma. Tonight, I drove into the garage and noticed that the new non-tenant's non-car that wasn't parked in Jackie's space had its dome light on. I'm ashamed to say that I debated with myself as to whether to let her know. After all, she isn't really here, is she? I knocked on her door and told her. She didn't thank me. But I'm off the karmic hook for tonight.

Flip thinks that I should let the illegal sublet thing go. He is nicer than I am. I probably will, but something mean-spirited in me really doesn't want to. What would you do?


The new tenant also comes home every day at about 9:30 a.m. in stilettos, which precludes a night shift kind of job. More like shiftLESS. I don't believe they're cousins, but lamppost buddies. The common resemblance to rodents is probably just a happy coincidence.


Josie said...

Hearts, I would probably wait until the first time the stereo blared at 3:00 a.m., and then all bets would be off. If you want them gone, that's the ace up your sleeve.


heartinsanfrancisco said...


On Christmas Eve!!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I'm male so I'll have to stick with Flip on this one. We tend to be more patient than women cause it seems like a lot of work to get involved.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Awwwwww, c'mon guys. You're no fun at all.

thailandchani said...

I would also wait until you have a legitimate reason to complain. Also, it all depends on motive. :)



zorak163 said...

I work in Property Management so naturally I think you should turn them in. If the new neighbor does anything to cause any damage, either to the apartment or to your ear drums then the Management company will have to deal with it and that's not fair to them as the new occupant is not the one they entered into an agreement with. Also from a business standpoint it's not fair that they were denied the opportunity to rent the apartment to someone else at a higher rate. What the girls did is a violation of the lease contract and is also immoral - they are lying.
I find that when someone is not in their right place that I have a lot less patience with them - for example, at the ballpark if someone sneaks into seats near me that are not their own I get much more irritated by their drunken and rude behavior.

Anonymous said...

Sorry dearHeart, I'm with the men. I wonder if this reawakens your initial suspicion that your friend Erma is actually a man.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Exactly. I think I mentioned, also, that the landlord and management company were denied their right to rent the place at fair market value, and a rental agent was denied a commission.

I am deeply offended by the immorality of it, the plain sleaziness of treating people that way. And while I believe that when you treat others dishonorably in business or in your personal life, it will come back on you sooner or later, my own sense of morality makes me want to set things right.

My quandary is that I am not legally an interested party, and I am not sure if being the instrument by which their karma comes home will result in bad karma for me.

But it bothers me a lot. It is so wrong to screw people as they are doing, and I also worry, as I said, that in condoning it by my silence, I become as dishonest as they are.

For me, this is a serious moral problem, exactly the same as if I had witnessed someone cheating on an exam.

There is no longer even the smallest doubt. I went out this evening and the new tenant had left a note to the utility company on the building's front door, asking them to call her cell phone as the buzzer is not working.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


You don't state your reason for agreeing with the men, besides the fact that you may or may not be one.

meno said...

Whose karma are you worried about? If you say nothing, you have bad karma in the honesty arena. Of you say something, you will have bad karma with dishonest people.

Which do you think is really the bad karma?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

It occurs to me that it might be as morally bankrupt to meddle in someone else's business as to conduct ones own business immorally. There is probably a Biblical allegory about this.

So: What would Jesus frickin' do?!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Since you put it that way, I am not concerned with bad karma from these people, although I probably should be as they have access to our car and bicycles in the garage.

I may have stated the facts as if it were a trivial matter, but it really bothers me.

In school, there was no greater scorn than that heaped upon tattle-tales. Why, oh, why is life so much like grade school?

QT said...

I can't give you a very good reason why, but here is what I would do -wait and see if this person is as much of a loser as the last one. If you have any basis for complaint, then do so.

To me, the fact that an asshole property manager didn't get to make an extra $1000 off someone is not enough reason.

That is just my 2 cents.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Valid points. But actually, there is not an on-site manager, so they don't care about misbehavior unless it affects them personally.

When I left a message asking if it was legal for someone who smokes like a locomotive to do so in the common areas, stinking up the entire building and my apartment, I never got a response.

Property management exists solely to collect rent and to appease the owner.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

And another thing. Everyone else in the building had to pass a credit check and disclose all sorts of personal information, to say nothing of paying a hefty deposit.

It simply is not fair.

EsLocura said...

I would tell, I don't see the point in living next door to idiots, life is tough enough and all that negative, lying, cheating energy from next door is going to seep into your place. then again what if they get kicked out and the new neighbors are even worse? ohhh myyy, what's a girl to do?

Sienna said...

Hearts, this is awful...I have a solution.

Come and live here, in Australia in the country, just for 12 months, you could have a sweet country house with acres, lovely people around, friendly, (but not too friendly)...fresh air, all your kids could visit, you and Flip know a thing or two about doing a little renovation(s) would be just a little painting and using a hammer, you could do up one of these older homes and 12 months down the road, probably double your money and head on back to wherever you want....

The Apartment thing sounds awful, meaning bad karma, people that own them just to screw people out of money makes me physically sick, and not so wise property management and people that then do the wrong thing because the rent is too dear?

It all sort of feeds into each other...a slithering mass of fetid jelly.

I would be greatly perplexed at what to sounds just awful...and I don't like that they are lying to you, that's just not on.


Anonymous said...

I'm not a truely nice person, so I probably would have flat out asked them if the management co. knew what they were doing? and if the Management co. was on board with the "clothes swapping".

I figure, they can lie all they want, but as long as they KNEW that I knew the truth, the stereo would stay low enough not to have me call anyone.

If she became as bad as the previous tenant, the call would be made.

Pendullum said...

I am with Flip...

Anonymous said...

My reason, dearHeart, is that the world has a wonderful way of bringing back to exactly the same energies that we put forth into the atmosphere. I would also suggest that your next-door-whore and her cousin probably have enough heartache to contend with in their lives without adding being kicked out of their home to the list. What they are doing is not right but their reasons for doing it are understandable. They want to maintain the current cost of the apartment. Your reason for wanting to alert the landlord, as you said yourself, is mainly centered around the fact that you are irked that they had the gall to lie to you about their plans. I'd humbly suggest to you that your reason is less reasonable than theirs. While I fully sympathize and empathize with the problem of lousy neighbors I believe that going out of your way to sabotage people is likely to bring ill returns. And I would like nothing less than for something bad to happen to you, Heartdear.

Ian Lidster said...

I hate moral dilemma questions, mainly because I pose so many for myself during the course of any given day. I think Flip is right -- for now -- but if excuse is given to blow the whistle, don't hesitate. And, mean-spirited bastard that I am, I wouldn't have told her about the dome ight.
Good luck, my friend.

Hel said...

I'll not worry about it too much because I know one day I will feel grumbly enough to think "Bugger karma". And although I might feel guilty afterwards - deep inside I will be glad the rodents are gone...

heartinsanfrancisco said...


The more I think of this, the more I realize that I don't know the cousin's story. Maybe she has had a series of horrible events and moving here is her final chance to start over.

If she was a battered woman, for instance, and is hiding here, I would want to help.

And as you say, new people could be worse.


"A slithering mass of fetid jelly." I love this! It makes me laugh, which is not a good plan because I'm trying to swallow a pill, a skill I fairly lack.

Moving to Australia sounds like a solution to most of life's problems. I can picture it. It's tempting. And I already have a wonderful friend there!


I considered asking, but since they were telling me that nothing was happening, folks, go back to your homes, I didn't.

I think by informing her that her car light was on, I let her know that I was onto the new residency arrangement, and there is always an implicit threat in being ratted out if somebody knows what you're up to.


I've decided not to say anything. I am entitled to my private opinion that these girls are scumbags, but it's not my business to blow the whistle.


I have come to the same conclusions, as I don't normally sabotage people. My righteous indignation colored my judgment because First Cousin has been such a bad neighbor.

We do get exactly what we put out, and I need to clear myself of my bad feelings lest they rebound on me.

It was good venting, though. And it's possible that the new tenant will be more considerate than the old one.


I hoped that by doing something nice, I would be setting an example for her, and for me, too, as I obviously needed one.


"Bugger karma" would make a great bumper sticker!

MsLittlePea said...

I probably wouldn't say anything to the management just because I'm too lazy to care. But I would probably let the cousins know that I know, just for my own satisfaction. As in, "oh I know you're just 'house-sitting' but you know if management finds out about it, you're screwed." Maybe she'll think before turning up the volume on her stereo.....

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sweet Pea,

It sounds like a plan. Others have made the same suggestion, so it must be a good one.

I forgot to mention that when the movers started hauling in large pieces of furniture, Jackie, the old tenant, said to me, "I'm getting some new furniture."

Yeah, right. The "new" stuff is much more beat up than the old seemed to be as it headed downstairs. :)

zorak163 said...

I feel bad for you that your experience has been such that you view Property Management as only being there for the purpose of collecting rent and making an owner happy. I have been in the industry for 5 years and while yes, it is imperative to collect the money, I see how that money and honest residents translate into a better living environment for my residents as that money is put into improvements for the property.

The situation is different, though - I live at the site that I manage and as such I have a vested interest in both the community and the people. My residents come to me with their personal problems and regularly thank me for having come to manage their community. Making the owner happy is the farthest thing from my mind - I care about the community and the residents and fight for their interests on a daily basis, even if the residents do crazy stuff like set dumpsters on fire.

I hope you get to experience a good management company some day.

My last 2 cents - the new residents did not pass a background screen. By saying nothing you may be allowing someone with an outstanding warrant or a sex offender to live next to you. You could at least try to obtain her name and look her up in your state's registry for a criminal background.

Good luck.

kerrianne said...

Ug. Bad neighbors are the worst. I don't know what I would do. Probably be annoyed a lot, mostly.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Thank you for your continuing interest in this matter. I take what you say very seriously.

It hadn't occurred to me that she might be a criminal. It probably should have, considering the degree of dishonesty both women have shown.

I have not lived in many apartments, and as you noted, the climate is quite different when there is a live-in manager.

The owner of this building inherited it and several others from his father. He has never had to work, himself, and clearly feels superior to those who rent apartments from him.

Those who knew his father have said that he was a kind and caring person. The son's greed and abrasive manner must be difficult for the property managers to deal with, and they probably fear for their own jobs should they displease him.

It's a bad situation all around.

I have not been graced with new tenant's name, nor will it appear on the mailbox or buzzer. If she is smart, she has a P.O. box.

I have been persuaded that it is not my call to blow the whistle on this illegal arrangement, but it does bother me for all the reasons stated.


Be annoyed a lot... I think I can manage that.

flutter said...

wait until she blares her stereo or blows something up, then all bets are off.

heartinsanfrancisco said...



Do you know something you're not telling me?

Open Grove Claudia said...

I would develop a deep and unabiding resentment for the ugly cousins, then use their names as the psychopath or prostitute or, what a need right now, a reporter who is whorish and a bit of a psychopath. HA... That will get them.

Then, I would realize that it's really better to be lovely than ugly and life has already gotten them back. So there.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


You're writing a book!

If you read my link to the earlier post about Rodent A, I do think she's a prostitute. (This is not the red light district, and I don't think she takes work home with her very often.)

Remember The Purple Cow?

I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one,
But this I will say anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.

thethinker said...

Just wait long enough for the cousin to give you an excuse to speak up (i.e. loud music or other obnoxious behavior).

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I'll be waiting. :)

She also clatters around in high heels on the hardwood floors. It must be a family trait. What makes a person do that? I never wear shoes at home, but if I did, they wouldn't be heels.

Lex said...

I think they are both horrible liars and will, therefore, hang themselves eventually.

Lex said...

Regarding your comment to Zorak, I don't see where you are in a position to condone it or condemn it as, as you mentioned, you aren't really a party to it. That's the nicest way I can say, "Heart, it doesn't have anything to do with you!" Is there bad karma for sticking one's nose in where it doesn't belong? I still love you though!

Besides, we won't get anymore stories if you get her kicked out!

Lex said...

I don't know what the Jesus frickin's would do, but I leave you this:

"Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own." Pr. 26:17

That is the one and only time I will ever quote a scripture in blogland. And only because you asked.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I guess the lines are a bit blurred for me because if I witnessed a murder, for instance, and didn't come forth, I would be negligent.

What about seeing someone steal something in a store? Or knowing of parental abuse?

Do these things constitute meddling in a quarrel not ones own?

I am not going to report them, and never seriously intended to. But deceitfulness does offend me even more than I would have expected.

Jesus and I never hurt dogs.

seventh sister said...

Oh no!!! the NDW has my name? I would just hope that the cousin is a lot quieter than the NDW. If she isn't, I'd find a 'subtle' way to let her know that you will speak to the landlord about the noise. SHe really does not want management coming around and spoiling her good deal.

furiousBall said...

I'd just let her know that I know and every time I see her I'd do the two fingers pointing at my eyes and then point at her (I am watching you). Every. Single. Time.

CS said...

I'd wait, too, until a big offense. Then I'd spill. At that point, it becomes your business.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Her name is JackASS. That's not at all the same as yours.


Are you Mafia or just naturally talented?


So we agree that if she starts cooking crack next door, it becomes my business?

urban-urchin said...

Call me a bitch but I'd rat her out.

James Burnett said...

I'm with Flip. But I understand you wanting to bust 'em on the illegal sublet if your neighbor has been a thorn in your side or even just annoying over the years.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


You're my kind of woman.


I have to admit that I would probably be less morally affronted if the first tenant had not been a horrid neighbor. In other words, I am operating from a sliding scale mentality, which is not right either.

Thank you for coming by.

Jocelyn said...

I actually don't think this is a karma issue. They aren't being "good" people, so you don't owe them anything in kind. I like both Option A and B and hope you can use one or the other very soon.

It's actually an honesty and fairness issue, and they are the ones in error on both fronts.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


They are certainly lacking in honesty and fairness or any kind of decency, it seems.

While moving in, the new girl dropped a couple of wine glasses on the sidewalk and didn't bother to clean it up. I was chatting with another tenant outside today and she stepped on the glass. Luckily, I was the one in sandals.

Anonymous said...

I would certainly treat the new non-neighbor as I woud the old neighbor -- if she were loud or disturbing my way of life, I would complain (to her and then, if it reached that point, to the management company).

But right now, I wouldn't call anyone or turn anyone in. I would stew and hem and haw and curse to myself.

I would then make that tea and take that nap.

Christina_the_wench said...

Send an anonymous letter to the management company asking if they are aware of the new tenant in apt. # whatever. If you got put through hell when you signed your lease, so should they. Fair's fair.

mist1 said...

In situations like that, I prefer to talk about people behind their backs with my catty girlfriends. Sometimes, I even shoot them the stink eye when they are not looking. In general, I keep quiet because I am a perfectly awful person to live near. I don't want anyone complaining about my wayward ways and so for me, mums the word.

Liz said...

Reading about them dropping the wine glasses and your neighbor cutting her foot sold me on your needing to say something about it. That's just wrong. I'd find some way to tell.

velvet girl said...

I have no advice for you because I would be in as much of a quandry as you are. It sucks to have been brought up to be honest in such a dishonest world. Or is that not PC to call the rodents dishonest? How about morally flexible? Oh, screw it, they're dishonest.

Good luck and hope that karma bites them in the ass.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I am trying to define the degree of quiet I can reasonably expect from someone living separate from me but quite close by.

There is a covenant of peaceful enjoyment in most leases which is supposed to be provided by the landlord. But I doubt that's taken seriously in a situation with a non-resident manager.

Coffee sounds good now, though. Tea later. Tea and cursing.


We did for a fact. Everything but blood type. Our credit was scrutinized. We had to pay a hefty deposit and sign a million papers.

It isn't fair. Unfairness is my worst thing.

But if at some point I inform management, I won't do so anonymously because I will believe I'm doing the right thing.


I see your point, glass houses and stones. But I think that I'm a good neighbor, very quiet and no fun at all.

She has already beaten me to the stink eye, though. Yesterday morning, when I came back with the paper, she was exiting her apt. with a guy. He said hello to me and she looked the other way so she wouldn't have to.

I don't look THAT bad in the morning.


She didn't cut her foot because she was wearing sneakers and socks. I was the one in sandals, luckily, because I didn't step in the glass.

But it is an indication of her character, as if we needed more such. Late last night, the glass was still there. I guess I'll sweep it up unless the building cleaners who come on Mondays do.


I'm such a misfit. "Morally flexible" is wonderfully pc. How about "Interested in others" for nosy neighbor?

jali said...

If she's nicer than "rodenta", then it may be an advantage to you to keep quiet. If she's horrible, then you can always blow the whistle.

Karma might send you a horrible new neighbor though...

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I know. The devil you know...

Rodenta. :) Have you been talking to my daughter? She invented the adjective "rodential."

New Tenant also clatters around in stiletto heels All The Time. On hardwood floors. I just don't get it. WHY would anyone do that?

My heart runneth over... said...

I would have let her battery die in the car!

Just for not being nice.. there's the KARMA!

Next if they bother you again I would slip a little note under the door explainging how you know and the JIG is up and if they continue with all the nonsense you will me contacting the landlord! Of course the letter would be anonymous but I am a coward who hates confrontation!


Good Luck!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I hate confrontation, too, but sometimes it's necessary.

I'm beginning to think that they're not really cousins, either, just a sublet arrangement, because several items which must belong to the former tenant have been piled up in the hall outside the door. If they were cousins, it seems that those things would be kept INSIDE until their owner next showed up.

Kevin Charnas said...


Oh, that was a good one, thank you.

She didn't thank you??? Stupid, ungrateful rat.

Speaking of which, remember, she's the rodent, not you. If she does something that REALLY, REALLY pisses you off and after you've slept on it and still are extremely pissed, then she'd be toast if she were my neighbor.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I think we can work with this, especially the part about if I'm still pissed off after sleeping on it. That is very good advice for me in general as I tend to be a hothead.

Yep, both "ladies" are quite rodential. I wonder if I should leave a housewarming gift of some rotten cheese in front of the door. In a cute little trap.

Lee said...

Hearts, I've been reading the comments and am on the fence. Personally, I am a big fan of giving people enough rope to hang themselves. If she is a horrible person, karma will still work in your favor. Shit attracts shit. Law of the universe.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


The consensus seems to be to leave it alone, that vengeance is not mine.

So, unless 2nd Rodent does something that seriously affects my safety or peace of mind, I will just fume on my own side of the wall.

It would not surprise me if she is a shit-seeking missile.

la cubana gringa said...

I'd give the new tenant a housewarming gift to welcome her to the apartment complex...perhaps a pair of plush slippers, along with a note that reads "I know what you did last week." Don't sign it. Leave it on her doormat.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

La Cubana,

Wouldn't dog shit be more appropriate? UNSIGNED dog shit, of course.

Her "cousin" inspired fantasies of curare-dipped thumb tacks on her doormat.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Oh hearts... another really good one.
Couple of thoughts. One, after initial annoyance, you may get along better with the new cousin tenant and you may want to hold ideas #1 and #2 for later use... I'd say both are valid for up to 6 months, no?
and two, if you DO rat them out, you are taking a gamble on the tenants who will be moving in after the cousin leaves... how's your luck, usually?
I don't think it would be bad karma at all to casually mention to the management co., in passing of course, that you wished you'd known about the place being vacant. What has been done was not started by you and it was blatant sneakiness. If you correct it, how is that bad for you? It's not.
I know I've looked at this both ways, but not all ways, and I think I would probably go with idea #1... mostly because of the credit check and hefty deposit. Not fair. Sheer cheekiness and underhanded trickery. No bueno.
Why, it's almost your duty to correct the situation, and make it right, since they obviously won't.

Good luck, and please do let us all know what happens!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

What the....more than 60 comments! I guess everyone has had bad neighbours.

Ryane said...

I agree w/a lot the other posters..wait until the inevitable happens--loud music, whatever...and then complain to the management. I wouldn't like be lied to either. I mean, if your neighbor is going to lie to you about something as simple as "are you moving in?", then she will lie about all sorts of other things, as well. And while you are not required to be friends w/your neighbors, neighbors do at least owe one another respect honesty. Wow. I sound a little hokey, but really--it's what we should do for the folks who live around us b/c we would want them to do it for us--look out for the safety of the building. OK. Off my soapbox. Good luck--I loved this's hysterical...

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I'm going out of town today, away from temptation, as it happens.

My present inclination is to hide and watch. If there is anything to tell, you'll see it here before it hits the evening news, probably.


It seems to be something everyone can relate to. Also, it's an ethical question. I appreciate all the thoughtful answers.


If they are stupid enough to expect anyone to believe that the apartment didn't change hands under the radar, they are certainly stupid enough to bring bad happenings on themselves. Even without my help.

Beehive Goddess said...

Well, you could always save that good tidbit of information to extort good behavior out of the new non-tenant.

Or you could ignore it.

Or you could turn them in.

I'd probably keep my mouth least until they piss me off like no one has pissed me off before.

And what? Doesn't the rental company do periodic inspections of the apartments? You know, to check for cleanliness, unreported work items, and, oh, I don't know, NEW tenants.


Kevin said...

I would totally say something.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


The property management company only manages to extort the kind of rents that still give me sticker shock every month. The only time they show up is to inspect an apartment when a tenant moves. (Assuming they know about it, of course, which as we see, is not always the case.)


Be my guest. I could use a spokesman right now.

The CEO said...

Actually, I have an idea that will end your aggravation completely. Go to a lawyer and get a legal sublet agreement drawn up. Next, get a list of every building that your Management Company owns. Then, go to every building and find every tenant a new and better place to live and get them to sublet their apartment to you. Pay them a fee and have them agree to always rent the place for you. Then go to the prostitute next door and get her friend to sign the same agreement, and sublet her apartment to her friend. With the new cash flow you are generating, get yourself a brand new penthouse, and have your husband retire. Finally, rent out your old apartment.

Please stay away from the Bible. Possible conflicts are when G*d asked Cain about Able and Cain asked if he was his brother's keeper. Contrasting that with Jesus' remark when the crowd wanted to stone Mary Magdalene about "he who has no sin can cast the first stone". Quotations are approximations. Naturally I could go on, but you are probably bored by now anyway.

Paige Jennifer said...

Oh. My. God. There are literally tears rolling down my cheeks.

Stumbled across your blog via Me, My Thoughts & I and man oh man, I need to thank Ryane for pointing me in your direction.


heartinsanfrancisco said...


I'm sure your plot is brilliant, but I don't really understand it.

I am neither a Biblical scholar nor a real estate genius.


I must thank Ryane for bringing you here from her excellent blog.

Thank you for your visit!

CS said...

Cooking crack, parking oin your space - YOU decide what counts as big!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Now she's leaving garbage outside her door. Besides the yoga mat she tossed out there the day she moved in, which probably belonged to her "cousin." There is a large brown Bloomingdale's bag, torn and leaking trash right outside her door.

Other tenants have taken notice. We do not (DID not) live in a slum. I think that as everyone has suggested, she will be hanged by her own petard before long.