Saturday, April 14, 2007

Tea for Two Three


"Daisy, Maisie, give me your answer, do.
I'm half crazy, all for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet
Upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two THREE.
"

Today I saw the ultimate romantic vehicle - a bicycle built for three. It was the stretch limo of bicycles. Just perfect for a menage a trois. Or conjoined triplets. (Depending on where they were conjoined, of course,)

Or polygamists. Of course, the wives would probably fight over who sits where.

The man I saw was alone, walking his vacant three-seater along a crowded Saturday sidewalk. He looked dejected. Tired. Miserable. And very likely, clueless.

Sometimes, love just doesn't work out the way you intend.

36 comments:

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Hehehe! maybe he was looking for ladies to fill the vacancies!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Squirrel,

I have a theory: I think his ladies left him and walked into the sunset together.

The Moon Topples said...

I've always wondered why the singer of the song was so sure that she'd "look sweet" on a tandem bicycle. If he was going to be in it with her, he might not even be able to see her!

My heart goes out to the lonely man with two too many seats.

EsLocura said...

I learned to ride a bike in my late twenties. It was so hard. A bike built for 3 seems like overkill.

Michelle O'Neil said...

So funny.

It would be a great writing exercise, to make up a little story about what happened. How he became "one" instead of three.

CS said...

I think maybe the guy overestimated himself, and got a hard lesson about setting unreasonable goals.

Joan said...

Oh dear..he's a poor, lonely man with three seats but only one behind. I guess he didn't read the playbook which says threesomes don't always work out. How disappointing for him.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Moon,

I guess his eyes were bigger than his stomach.

Maybe if he'd had more modest expectations...

Eslocura,

I love my mountain bike. It holds only one person, which I think is the perfect number. (For a bike,)

Michelle,

Perhaps his ladies didn't know about each other until he invited them for a ride?

Or perhaps fate just shoots you down when you're greedy.

Cs,

Maybe he's a runaway clown from the circus and he stole the bike.

Joan,

They don't? Gee, you thnk? Show me a man with two women and I'll show you a man who's indecisive. (Or lucky, depending on how you look at it.)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Moon,

I'm sure he was appealing to her vanity since he didn't have a "driving machine."

If I had an ice cream cone for every time someone said, "Try it, you'll like it," I'd be very fat by now.

The Law Fairy said...

My sister used to work at a Whole Foods-type store called Wild Oats. One day when she was behind the counter, a couple came up to her and asked if she would take part in a threesome with them.

She declined. Too bad, I could have asked her if they had one of these. But now she'll never know.

Ian Lidster said...

Of your final statement, nothing could be more true.
Did Brigham Young have a 'bicycle built for 27?' Just wondering.

Ian

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Ian,

He had only 27 wives?

Have you ever read Mark Twain's hilarious account of visiting Brigham Young? Every time one wife got a new hat, all the others had to have the very same hat. And the children's toys... 400 toy drums all being banged at once.

The mind boggles at the thought of one man husbanding 27 women. Even two is looking for trouble.

Thailand Gal said...

A bicycle for three. Hm. Interesting idea but rather odd. One for four makes most sense.

I have such a hard time reconciling the concept of a "threesome". Ugh! I can barely muster up the interest for a twosome most of the time. LOL


Peace,

~Chani

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Chani,

Duly noted.

The concept would make more sense to me if the third seat was smaller, for a child. But then, I would be hopelessly out of my depth in a threeway anything. I can barely manage to be one of two, and I like my bicycles single.

goodthomas said...

I guess being alone becomes much more pronounced when you have TWO vacant seats on your bicycle.

And how depressing was it for him -- he couldn't even bring himself to ride it, he could only walk beside it.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Thomas,

I wouldn't want to share a man -- or a bike -- either. I'm funny that way.

furiousBall said...

you know he could have been dating a four legged woman...always jumping to conclusions don't we...

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Furious,

If he was, she trotted away on all fours. Wagging her tail behind her.

Only you would think of that, you know.

meno said...

"Donald Donald, here is my answer true.
I'm not crazy, all for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage,
Since you can't afford a carriage,
But i'll be damned if i'll be crammed on a bicycle built for three.

:)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Meno,

Irving Berlin and Cole Porter, watch out. There's a new Sheriff in town.

This is great! I love it. Daisy and Maisie will be impressed.

QT said...

I am so clumsy I can barely ride a regular bike without some kind of mishap. I would probably take the whole crew down in one fell swoop.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Qt,

So much for a love triangle involving you, then.

Jocelyn said...

Man, he had two blown chances at love, too.

I'm trying to picture where the conjoining of the triplets could take place...fingertips?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Jocelyn,

They would look like a string of paper dolls.

Liz said...

Your lone biker with the two empty seats must have seen how expensive gas is here in California. He needs to look for someone to carpool with him and split the gas costs. Hmm. He needs an ad on Craigslist.

Katie said...

At least he was walking it and not trying to ride it, which, I imagine, would be difficult.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Liz,

The cost of gas is the best explanation I've heard for a three-person bicycle.

That thing was so big it could have had a luggage compartment.

Katie,

It was unwieldy, like it was put together by a committee.

Thank you for coming such a long way to see another ex-Long Islander.

mist1 said...

There is no man who can handle a bicycle built for three.

jali said...

Can't imagine 3 on a bike. Getting 3 folks to pedal at the same pace and the same time seems tough.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Mist,

With enough testosterone, anything seems possible.

Jali,

Have you ever seen a sculling crew?

Open Grove Claudia said...

Poor guy. Maybe he should get an italian greyhound instead.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Claudia,

They couldn't reach the pedals.

MsLittlePea said...

I saw a really funny looking bike a couple months ago. It had 6 seats in a circle- I should've taken a picture. It looked fun.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sweet Pea,

I wish you had taken a picture. I'd love to see it.

In San Diego, there was a really cool bicycle made of bamboo, set up in the normal way, but quite thick. I would have liked to decorate it with Christmas lights or garlands of flowers.

urban-urchin said...

I can't imagine wanting to be hitched to two people. One is all I can handle... "Trey" as we should call him obviously learned this lesson the hard way...

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Urchin,

Trey. Funny. It always amuses me when people name their kids something trendy, and have no idea what it means.

I prefer my multiple spouses serially. And not on a bicycle. Maybe the Rockettes could manage that, but not we mere mortals.