Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Soak Up The...Sun?

Singer Sheryl Crow is pushing for the introduction of a ban on using too much toilet paper to help the environment. "I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting." She has not suggested how this ban could be enforced. Will we have toilet paper police in our bathrooms, handing out tickets to those who are overly exuberant at the roller? Will we have to do hard time for using two squares instead of only one? How about three? Will the sentences be commensurate with how many squares we use? What is the ratio of number of squares to number of ply? Crow advocates using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required." Pesky? She's gotta be kidding.

She also thinks that paper napkins "represent the height of wastefulness," and has designed a clothing line with what she calls a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve" after the diner has used it to wipe his or her mouth. How very Middle Ages of her. She says, "Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating." I'd like to give her a piece of my mind. She could definitely use some additional brain cells, preferably working ones.

When are we going to stop assuming that celebrities are experts on things which have nothing to do with their area of expertise? I suggest that she stick to singing and leave the thinking to those who are better at it.

Update - (tidbit)

At a White House dinner Saturday, Crow and her friend, environmental activist Laurie David, approached Karl Rove and urged him to take a "fresh look" at the science of global warming. According to David's account of the exchange, the senior White House adviser "immediately got combative," and launched into a defensive recitation of the administration's global warming policy. When Crow laid a hand on Rove's arm to try and diffuse the situation, he shook her off, snapping, "Don't touch me!" Politically significant? Perhaps. Or maybe he just knew that she uses only one square of toilet paper. I wouldn't want her touching me, either.


EsLocura said...

in protest, (because I love a reason protest, any reason) I gave my cat a whole roll of toilet paper to play with and have upped by napkin use. I wonder couldn't she have found a better cause?

QT said...

There is a statement on her website this morning stating that it was meant to be a joke. It did seem a bit over the top!


Pickled Olives said...

Her ideas are out there but it does open a dialogue. Now people who may otherwise not be aware of what is wasteful can examine their actions and find a less wasteful solution. Just because someone entertains doesn't automatically make them idiots either. Though her ideas aren't really good and practical, it's a start.

Katie said...

Does anyone else think that the idea of a "dining sleeve" is a bit gross?

Judith said...

Joke or not Ive had a pop at her today in my post, anyway, shes just lucky I didnt get into her over her singing. Olives is right though it does open dialogue for all the shameful waste thats going on but I think Im entitled to use my fair share of bog roll if I get a touch of the squits (pardon the pun toilet humour)

Joan said...

And to think we all gave up the idea of carrying a hankie because of all the germs etc. Now Sheryl wants us to carry around a dining sleeve? Gross!!!

Ryane said...

HAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, the radio station I listen to this morning has declared it, "One Square per Visit" day. I agree it's a good thing to consider ways to curb paper waste and etc...but I agree w/you Guilty...celebs should stop taking themselves (and their opinions) so seriously.

Kate S said...

When are we going to stop assuming that celebrities are experts on things which have nothing to do with their area of expertise?

I suggest that she stick to singing and leave the thinking to those who are better at it.


furiousBall said...

I hear the UK has banned teaching proper toilet paper usage.

thailandchani said...

I agree completely! She definitely fits those targeted by the right wing wingnuts who always say "shut up and sing".




Pendullum said...

I do not think that Sheryl Crow is a good spokes person... But I have to disagree with the fact that singers can be activiists, and sometimes should give voice to problems that face the planet. I think of Bob Dylan, The Beatles,Bob Geldof Joni Mitchell and U2 to name a few.
And I hate to say it but a great deal of the time we need celebrities to use their voice...

Lee said...

Since it's allergy season, I'm wearing my snot sleeve.

Josie said...

Omigoodness, one can only imagine sitting across the dining room table observing all the flotsam and jetsam on everyone's "dining sleeves". EEuuww.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Quidado. The Poopolice are going to get you. And your little cat, too.


She's backpeddling, then. She just finished a tour with an environmental activist, and presented her ideas as solutions that everyone could do.


There are many entertainers who are intelligent and have good ideas. My objection is to them and us thinking that their opinions hold more weight in areas unrelated to their singing, acting, whatever, than others.


That is why I mentioned it next to a picture that portrays Vlad the Impaler dining.


I'll check out your post as soon as I'm done here.

I think I used enormous restraint not criticizing her singing, which I abhor. But I am definitely in the minority there.


Utterly disgusting. As is wiping our mouths with our sleeves in the first place since all of us have been trained not to from about age two.


There are much better (and more sanitary) ways to curb paper waste than this.


Not that I listen to her singing voluntarily. It's hard to avoid when the supermarkets blare it incessantly.


You know, I did consider whether seeing it on TV and checking it out online was enough research to avoid getting in trouble.


You agree with me or with her? Please clarify.

But in her case, I wish she'd just shut up, since we've mentioned her singing.


All the great people you've mentioned did wonderful work furthering awareness of problems.

But I think it's sad that we give all celebrities credit for qualities they often do not possess, just by virtue of their celebrity. Their ideas get listened to because we love them for something else, while those of other, often more knowledgeable people do not.


Is it green?


I think they would have to bring back the Roman Vomitoria, too.

Open Grove Claudia said...

This morning, I saw ten rolls of toilet paper in the gutter by our City Park. They were just sitting there absorbing the rain.

We should send them to Sheryl. She migh tlike them.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Send them to her, one roll at a time.

(That sounds like a 12-step program.)

meno said...

I already use a dining sleeve and a kleenex sleeve, why not add a toilet paper sleeve? :)

Christina_the_wench said...

I bought a three roll packages of paper towels, 12 DOUBLE rolls of toilet paper and 3 packages of paper napkins.

Sit down, Sheryl and sing something.

Ian Lidster said...

Hooray for you and your comment on 'wiser than thou' celebs. Those people stick in my craw, as I indicated in a recent blog.
As for the toilet paper thing, and not to be indelicate, but how the hell do you know before you start to go how much you'll need? "Uh-oh, should have asked for three squares.


heartinsanfrancisco said...


Your comment has provided all my laughs for at least a week and a half. LOVE it.


I bought all those things yesterday, too, as well as Kleenex. My bad.

If she is going to sing, I really wish it wouldn't be around me, though. I'm allergic.


Yeah, no shit. How DO you know? I simply do not think this is a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.

And now she's pretending she was only kidding. Puhleeese. Perhaps her diarrhea of the mouth caught up with her.

velvet girl said...


Not like that wouldn't require water, electricity and natural gas to keep those clean.

How silly.

Anonymous said...

HinSF - It is usually a sign that someone isn't concentrating on their chosen profession when they go and do something like this. And usually not a good sign. If I were a betting man, I would say that the arc on Ms Crow's career is heading a bit south.

This idea made me laugh though. I have a boss who takes these things very seriously and if he could, would want us to use only one square -- not to save the environment but to save money.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


How silly, indeed. Or perhaps she would like us to believe that she is above such bodily functions.

What's that nasty expression about a shit-eating smile?


Meanie that I am, I hope you are right about her career because I am sick to death of hearing her whiny voice everywhere I go.

Your boss sounds like a true prince.

MsLittlePea said...

I heard it was a joke too. But I have heard people say that we should all limit our toilet paper use-COME ON! I try really hard to reuse scrap paper, limit my napkins and all that stuff but dammit I draw the line at toilet paper! And sorry but there's no way in hell I would walk around with a filthy peice of cloth on my sleeve to wipe my mouth on. Tackeee. I guess she means well.

I do love her songs.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sweet Pea,

I'm having a hard time believing that it was a joke before she became aware of how stupid it sounded. After all, she was touring with environmentalists. And if it WAS a joke, that is even stupider.

Most people do love her music. As I said, I'm in the minority.

thailandchani said...

You agree with me or with her? Please clarify.

But in her case, I wish she'd just shut up, since we've mentioned her singing.

I agree with you. Sheryl Crow is not an intellectual titan. That's obvious.

So she should shut up and sing. :)

Of course if she is now backing out of it by saying it was a joke.. well..

At any rate, I don't mind hearing from people who know something about the social causes they promote, no matter who they are ~ but when someone is just spouting off to spout off, it's irritating.




thailandchani said...

Oh, and by the way, I do not care for her music at all. The lyrics are inane and her voice is whiny.



heartinsanfrancisco said...


I thought you were probably agreeing with me as the intellectual titans YOU (and I :) ) are, but didn't want to take anything for granted.

A joke... oh, please. Not buying it. But I will continue to buy toilet paper, thank you very much.

And I also described her voice as whiny somewhere above. I can't speak for her lyrics because I've been able to mostly block them out, but she is no James Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Jackson Browne or Alison Krause.

Thanks for coming back!!

thethinker said...

That's kind of ridiculous. The intentions are great, certainly. But I think she's expecting too much. Dining sleeves?!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I think that both her suggestions are disgusting. The idea of eating with hands that basically were used as toilet paper does not enthrall me even if I wanted to go around with food crusted on my sleeves.

There is not enough soap in the world to make that acceptable.

Michael C said...

I agree with you 110%, but it might be fun just once to use a dining sleeve, especially at a BBQ joint ;-)

Lex said...

For all of the trees she'll save, she'll only kill more fish with all the detergent her laundry will require thanks to the diner sleeve as well as the inadequate wiping.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


BBQ shacks would be the natural habitat for such a garment. Nobody would even notice.


Exactly. But fish don't buy albums.

And she'd have to really douse herself in perfume to cover up the other odors.

I think I'm going to be sick now.

CS said...

Did you ever see the "can you spare a square" episode of Seinfeld?

Sometimes over the top statements about environmental awareness do more harm than good, I think. Makes it too easy for people to write enviromentlaists off as crackpots.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


A square I cannot spare.

You're right. It's too easy to throw out babies with bathwater when people make stupid statements for a good cause.

I hope she at least has a bidet. For the rest of us, tp is priceless.

Molly said...

In the interests of conserving even more, the dining sleeve could double as a snot wiping device....

Cursed Tea said...

I'd like to see her compost her own shit!! I saw a great podcat from BBC Newsnight about a guy who does such a thing to a)improve the planet b)get the best compost!!

Put that in your bin and mulch it Sheryl!!

Kursin the Tea

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Or a diaper, if she ever had kids. The multi-purpose vile rag.


First of all, she doesn't shit. She's a STAR. And if I were one, I wouldn't want to be associated forever in peoples' minds with poop.

I've always heard that the carrots in Japan are huge because they are fertilized with human excrement.

Odat said...

I have a dining sleeve, except it's called the front of my shirt.
It never fails.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I believe that would be called a dining bodice.

Maybe for her next trick, Sheryl Crow will introduce a line of cloth bibs for adults to coordinate with the cloth diapers that will replace tp.

yinyang said...

Are we even sure these people exist? How is it possible for any human being to be so stupid?

heartinsanfrancisco said...


She doesn't need a brain - that's what managers are for.

There is an old saying about how it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're stupid than to speak and prove them right.

Crankster said...

Is it even possible to use one square at a time. Frankly, the very idea gives me the creeps!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Yeah, no kidding. I have no intention of researching it.

I would hate to handle her mics after a show.

My heart runneth over... said...

Please tell me this was some sort of sick joke! What's next?


heartinsanfrancisco said...


She is now saying that it was a joke, but methinks the lady doth protest too much.

Methinks that she is an idiot.