Sunday, May 25, 2008

Sunday, sweet Sunday

One minute she was fine. The next, our cat, Truffle, had cystitis. It comes on that fast. Cystitis is a urinary tract infection which causes her to pee in strange places, like inside a conch shell on the mantel.

It isn't pretty.

Sunday is emergency day at the animal hospital. Everything costs more. Truffle is a high-rent cat and nearly always gets sick on Sundays.

We stuffed her into her paisley carrier with fleece lining and turned ourselves in to the authorities.

We were told that the wait would be at least an hour, probably more. As it turned out, it was a conservative estimate.

Athena and Hera, a pair of self-important Jack Russell Terriers, were inordinately interested in Truffle. The Goddess of Wisdom and the Goddess of Love and Marriage cavorted around the waiting room, sniffing her carrier and whimpering with desire.

Truffle said, "Fffffffttttt," which they took as an invitation to come closer.

"Piss off, losers," she snarled.

Truffle does not suffer fools gladly.

A golden-haired Standard Poodle named Django trotted over. The gentleman accompanying him, when he saw that the name resonated with us, said, "It's Django Dogheart."

Big points there. Any friend of Django's is a friend of ours.

Django was a mellow sort. He sniffed at Truffle and she gazed back at him. No profanities were uttered.

Finally, we were ushered into the examining room. The veterinary assistant committed the unforgivable indignity of taking Truffle's temperature rectally. She tried to cover her tracks by cooing, "Ooooh, sweeeet kitty-kitty."

"Motherfucker," said Truffle.

I would feel the same.

It was a hit and run job. She fled and the doctor came in, a pleasant young woman who talked much too loud.

Truffle kept trying to slip into her carrier. I dragged her back and lowered my voice because sometimes people who talk too loud will copy your tone, but she didn't. I spoke softer and softer and she bellowed louder and louder.

I wanted to say, "Excuse me but you're scaring my cat," but you really can't do that. To your vet. Truffle got 3/4 of the way into her carrier and I hauled her out again. She glared at me and growled.

I knew what she was saying but chose to ignore it. My mother would have washed my mouth out for less.

We were finally released and Truffle has had her first dose of medicine, buried in Gerber's baby food, chicken. She is back on her throne, otherwise known as our bed, and doubtless plotting her revenge.

It won't be pretty.


Sienna said...

Aaarh poor baby.
Get well soon Truffle...she is so beautiful, I love tabby cats...the local vet over here has adopted a cat, "Juliet" she sits up on the counter and listens to your information about the animals people bring in. Sometimes she leans over and puts a little paw on your shoulder, ever so gently, god she is so beautiful. A cat that will let you cuddle her for 10 seconds and purr and then must be off to see everyone else..I can't get over how Truffle looks so much like Juliet. Juliet has this amazing fluffy big fox tail.

Poor Truffle sweetie.


heartinsanfrancisco said...

Hi Pam!

Thanks for popping by and for your good wishes.

Truffle Sweetie is a Maine Coon Cat, not a tabby. Her tail is amazing and makes me wish I had one. She is 18 years old and runs a very tight ship.

daysgoby said...

Truffle is lovely.

And my Grande Dame cat Katie would approve of her attitude.

furiousBall said...

i think a guy in my fraternity house had that disease one night, he came into my room at like 4am and pissed on my fridge

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Grande dames of a feather...


Did you take him to the vet?

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

I don't know how you in the shadow of fear of Truffle's inevitable revenge. I'd need to be sedated.

The CEO said...

Poor, dear Truffle, here's hoping her problems are temporary, and she isn't hassled by too many more nervous dogs in her life.

Nick said...

Interesting that vets' bedside manners are not necessarily any better than doctors'. And animals are more likely to show their instant disapproval than we over-polite humans!

I hope Truffle has a speedy recovery - from the indignities and the cystitis.

Josie said...

Aw, poor Truffle. What a gorgeous cat! Look at the expression on her face.

Cats are prone to cystitis, poor things. I don't quite know why. It must make them miserable. It certainly would if it were me. I used to have a gorgeous Siamese cat that would get cystitis quite often. She would also cough up hair balls that looked like a small animal.

seventh sister said...

At what point did you become aware that you are owned by the cat?

thailandchani said...

That cat is beautiful! I used to have a main coon - many years ago. All that color in such a little being!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


On the contrary -- I need to be fully alert at all times. She who sleeps dies.


Truffle likes dogs and grew up with a gray wolf in the house. It's other cats she despises.


I used to think that high-decibel people were hard-of-hearing, but it's not always so. Sometimes the reason is caffeine or diet pills.

This woman's voice is probably quite hurtful to animals' sensitive ears.

The veterinary clinic is very good, but they have many doctors and it's luck of the draw.


Yes, hair balls are most lovely, too. Especially on down comforters and Persian rugs.


And they say slavery is dead.

Every animal I've ever lived with has owned me and been allowed to take liberties that I would never allow a human.


Well, Truffle is definitely not just another pretty face.

jameil1922 said...

oh i def would've asked the vet to talk softer. i thought they all spoke softly. all the vets i've ever known did. those rooms are echo-y. Django Dogheart? i don't know the significance so that just sounds odd to me.

On a limb with Claudia said...

Poor baby! And Truffle too! ;)

That's really a great bit - I'm glad you are writing now - it shows in your blog.

((hug)) Happy Memories day!

Odat said...

Hope she's better soon......maybe she'll forget the revenge! ;-)


heartinsanfrancisco said...


Django Reinhardt was a monster gypsy jazz guitarist who is revered by many. So Dogheart is kind of cool.


Happy Memories to you, too. I hope your future memories are all good ones.


I'm dong what I can to influence her blessed forgetfulness.

Los Angelista said...

Oh, poor Truffle. I'm so glad you all were able to take her to get some medicine. Perhaps her gratitude will cause some amnesia?

Anonymous said...

That is one gorgeous cat. Hope she's back to her old self soon.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Cats do not deal in gratitude. They are not dogs. I'm sure she is biding her time.


I do, too. She's done little but sleep all day today but doesn't seem to be in distress.

Still, I worry. She is 18, which in dog years would be 126. I don't know how cat years are figured but I'm sure it's different since they have nine lives.

katrice said...

As if the peeing weren't bad enough! Poor thing.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


We are all very unhappy when that's going on.

Sienna said...

Oh my goodness, I googled Maine Coons; they are so beautiful, I am sure Juliet has some of this blood in her, the hair out the ears but in a cute way, the personality! the tail, the tail is magic....18 yrs of age is pure majestic.

Truffle is royalty.

...and there are Maine Coons bred here in Oz.
I will get an updated photo of Juliet next time I'm over there.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I can really identify with you and Truffle, from the Sunday trip to the vet to the medication to the forthcoming Truffle’s revenge. Alex and I have been though it more than once.

Jocelyn said...

Yea, she might pee in your mouth next.

I only say this because, when dear Truffle meowed her "Motherfucker" at the vet's (LOVE that moment, Heart!), I thought to myself, "Well, now, she's a bit of a potty mouth."

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Truffle is definitely royalty. And the little tufts of silky hair in her ears make me melt.

St. Nick,

Alex sounds like a stand-up cat, and no stranger to vengeance.


Don't blame me. I'm just the scribe.

meggie said...

Good health vibes to Truffle!!

velvet said...

I think that her language was justified about being ambushed by a rectal exam. Poor Truffle! I hope that she feels better soon.

Ian Lidster said...

I think Truffle has been talking to Griffin and he may be responsible for her potty-mouth.

Oh, and Jack Russells and self importance is redundant, I think.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Thank you!


So do I. A rectal exam is the very definition of an ambush.


I stand corrected on the Jack Russells. They were possibly the most officious little dogs I have ever seen.

Molly said...

Did Truffle do a stint in the navy? Or did she learn to talk like that from her mistress?? Not that I wouldn't be forced to give voice to similar obscenities if subjected to such indignities by one so loud!Hope she feels better already.....

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Truffle went to college with my younger daughter and has been teaching me things ever since.

I am positive that if someone stuck a stick up my butt I would not say, "Dear me" or "Oh, my goodness" either.

Lex said...

You're an amazing omniscient narrator.

Poor Truffle!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Not really. It was very clear what she was saying. :)

Anonymous said...

What a vocabulary that cat has!!! What a mind!! Surely, you have influenced her.

I hope Truffle is doing well, taking her medicine and being kind to her royal subjects.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Permissive childrearing. What can you do?

And I think it's fair to say that SHE has influenced ME.

Pam said...

Ah Truffle, you poor little cat. I've had UTI's before.I can relate. Those things are nasstyyy!!!! Although I draw the line at peeing in strange places, particularly conch shells, I understand the urgency of the action and the need to tell unwanted attention to "piss off".Poor Truffle. Some days you feel like "just shoot me".Eight lived aint that bad.Love to Truffle and Truffle's caring mum.

the walking man said...

Never a dull moment eh?

Peace HiSF

Craze said...

Poor thing. I've had a couple of cats that have had that. I hope she doesn't get to mean in her revenge, I'm sure she's pretty pissed you took her to that gawdforsaken place. :)

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I'm very relieved (um) to know that you do not pee in conch shells.

Truffle and I appreciate your kind wishes.


Yeah, well it serves me right as I have an almost pathological fear of boredom.


The only revenge I couldn't handle would be if she didn't get better.

She's finally beginning to eat again. She had stopped for a day or so and I was quite worried.

Mariposa said...

I hope she is better now...

Anonymous said...

Maybe Truffle will forgive you...
Nah! Hopefully it won't be too bad. I want a cat again. Sigh.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


She's getting there. Thank you.


I remember when you got the little gray kitten. You should definitely have a pet. Go to the pound NOW.


RED MOJO said...

Surprising you and truffle seem to share some personality traits!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I have never peed in a conch shell. Well, hardly ever.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

I almost couldn't make it through this post, I was laughing SO much...
Poor Truffle. So funny.

I could see everything.

You better keep an eye on Truffle... I think you are right, it won't be pretty.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore