¡ Ya Vote´!

There was a Mayoral election today in San Francisco. The incumbent, who attempted to make gay marriage legal and admitted to having an affair with his campaign manager's wife, is up against a field of thirteen with names like Chicken, Grasshopper, and Billy Bob, who must be on loan from Tennessee.

I like our Mayor. I think he's a hot stud good guy, and agreed with his stand on gay marriage because I also don't believe that love can or should be legislated.

One of the candidates, an Indy journalist blogger, refused to turn over his tapes of a protest last summer. In a First Amendment showdown, he was jailed on civil contempt charges.

This city can always be counted on as a testing ground for political beliefs.

Another challenger qualified for public financing of his campaign. Since political candidates are not required to refund unused campaign contributions, this has given me an idea: Maybe next time, I'll run for Mayor, too.

We'll need to figure out what I stand for by then. Are you with me? Who's a player?

There was a porta-stall in front of the polling place, which could have been confusing. Visions of Mr. Magoo danced like sugar plums in my head. For some city offices, there was only one candidate, yet we were importuned to vote for a second and third choice, all of whom must be different. It was Communist Russia deja vu, where people were allowed to vote for or against a single candidate.

The best part of the process was feeding our oversized ballots into a big purring machine, a page at a time, and being rewarded with a sticker that says "I voted" in Spanish, English and Chinese.

On the way home, we stopped for espresso and croissants at a coffee shop presided over by an Asian St. Pauli Girl. Va-VOOM. Flip, of course, claimed not to notice the immense welcoming globes bulging out of the barista's tiny apron as she bent over him repeatedly while delivering our order.

I claimed that if his eyesight is that bad, he needs a white cane and a seeing eye dog. Braille lessons. Maybe a horticulture class with emphasis on seedless watermelons.

I tipped her especially well because they can't have been cheap, especially if she bought them by the yard.