Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Best Pickup Lines

Here's a conversation I overheard today:

Guy (sounds like Barney Rubble) to girl strolling on sidewalk eating ice cream cone: "You work at California Wine Bar?"

Girl: Shakes head, keeps walking.

Barney Rubble: "Got a twin sister?" Fondles groin. Why do some guys DO this? Do they really think their genitals fell off when they weren't looking? Please. Get a pacifier or something.

Girl: "No." She picks up speed here.

Barney, pursuing: "Or do you sometimes wear different clothes?"

The implications of this remark are numerous and all of them unpleasant.

She cuts across the street. In traffic. Her ice cream levitates out of the cone and hits the pavement. Strawberry. She throws the cone down in disgust and begins to jog.

He actually looks puzzled as to what went wrong, and who can blame him with openers like these?

I'm thinking I may have been hasty in condemning ABC's man-catching program. In fact, they should probably run a companion show called How To Get The Girl. Because the prognosis for another generation is not looking good right now.

I hate it when I have to eat my words.


Stephen said...

Well, perhaps it is best that this guy won't get the chance to breed.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

That's a safe assumption, and gives new meaning to "survival of the fittest."

proudmary said...

"do you sometimes wear different clothes"..? No, jackass. I always wear the exact same thing... right on down to the underwear!