Tuesday, October 07, 2008

in which a gentle opinion is expressed

Senator McCain, I am not your friend, you slimy snake-oil salesman, no matter how many times you claimed I was.

I especially enjoyed hearing you contemptuously refer to Senator Obama as "that one." Nice. You're a real class act.

If you had an iota of humility, I could almost sympathize with you as the underdog because you lack Barack Obama's intelligence, dignity, wit, and the fact that he embodies both substance and charisma. But you insisted on hurling the same mudpies over and over even though they missed their mark every time.

You should use some of your wife's inherited money to perfect your golf game and leave governing to those with the energy, education and creativity to bring meaningful change to this country instead of endorsing the same old policies that have driven it into the ground while claiming to be a maverick.

I am not impressed.

McCain thinks that health care is a responsibility. Obama believes it is a right which belongs to every American. So do I, and the sooner, the better.

I wonder if it was a capricious programming error that the presidential debate, with McCain as last speaker, was followed by a Viva Viagra commercial in which a guy in an organ grinder monkey's suit carries his wife over the threshold of their bedroom.

"You never carried me over a threshold," I pouted. "I bet we aren't really even married."

"Well, if you could get me a suit like that, I might," said Flip.

"It will never happen. Besides, they lie. Nobody could get lucky in that suit."


katrice said...

That one is so far removed from real America, it's a shame. That's what happens when you make a career out of politics. Eventually, they all just become elitist do-nothings who want the job security of being a lawmaker, and none of the integrity and responsibility it requires.

Yes, I called McCain, "that one." Backatcha!

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I used to respect McCain. A long time ago. I haven't in a long time now.

alphawoman said...

The latest edition of the Rolling Stone arrived two days ago and I have been reading their eye opening article about JM. His numerous references to his serivce career and how it gave him character blah blah blah is a pile of crap! And I had no idea, as does most of America that he is a fraud. Yes, he was a POW, but because he is an idiot. And once the VC learned he was the son of one of the major players in the war, he was given preferential treatment. And he is an AssH***. But, I think that is perfctly evident from these debates.


The CEO said...

OK, I am listing you as an Obama supporter. I don't think we can call you undecided anymore, nope, no way.

Snoskred said...

The My Friends was invoked something like 19 times.

I loved this post - you're spot on. ;) I'm gonna post a link to it over at a little set of political forums where you can have sane political discussions with rational people - the mudflats. ;)

Nick said...

The trouble is there are always people willing to believe in the miraculous healing power of snake-oil, no matter how many times they've been told it'll merely poison you. I just hope McCain's snake-oil in its glossy new Palin-style packaging won't have too many customers come polling day.

furiousBall said...

each day with McCain's failing campaign, i'm convinced the goal of the GOP ticket is to season Palin for future runs moreso than actually win the White House

Fate's Granddaughter said...

Nothing to say but "here, here!" You took the words right out of my mouth. I felt emotionally drained after watching the debates.

thailandchani said...

I'm looking forward to the day when we see him hawking Kaboom and Shameez on the USA Network. "My friend", indeed! Yecht.


Bob said...

I too, at one time, had some respect for McCain, but he either isn't the same man now as then or his true nature is now coming out. at minimum he's sold his soul to the bush machine to get elected.

Ian Lidster said...

I was astonished at his stupid health care and social security comments and their crassness. But, I guess not everybody has a rich broad li'l 2nd wife popsy to carry them through. I tried to get me one once, but it didn't work out.
But, re Viagra -- if Bob Dole could do the ads, then there is hope for a later career for McCain.

On a limb with Claudia said...

hee hee! You are very funny. I can just see Flip carrying you over the door step. You'd be laughing so hard you'd never make it!


I hope you're all right

Los Angelista said...

Every time I see that Viagra commercial I think about how the biggest reason stretches credulity is that the guy still fits in that suit. Are we really supposed to believe that?

And you know McCain wanted to say, "That uppity NEGRO that I hate!" but he caught himself just in time and said, "That One!" instead.

RED MOJO said...

I couldn't agree more. To put it mildly, that puffed up bag of blowfish shit found his definition for the word "friend" in the dick-tionary!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


(Giggle.) I think "that one" is going to enjoy a very special place in the American idiom for a long time, especially among parents and teachers, arguing spouses, whenever we are so filled with loathing that we can't bring ourselves to say someone's name.

St. Nick,

Perhaps you didn't know him so well then. None of us did.


Yes, he IS a fraud, and not even a nice guy. He dumped his first wife because she was disfigured in an accident and married the present wax museum specimen beer heiress before the ink was dry on his divorce papers.


I don't sit on fences, and I've been for Obama since before the primaries when Hillary Clinton was his opponent. He has never disappointed me.


Welcome back to these shores! And bless you for counting all the times he oozed "my friends."

Interesting that during the studio Q&A, he couldn't remember the name of his questioner. (Ingrid Jackson:) who was, after all, a person, not a generality.


As the glossy new packaging would say, "Well heck, you betcha." While winking. So adorable, you know. So really insulting to the American voters who will absolutely deserve to be insulted if they fall for it.


I read somewhere that they assumed going in that they had no chance after Bush so they're saving their better candidates for next time. Somehow I doubt that Palin falls into that category, though. At least, I hope not.


I felt angry while watching it, with occasional mirth at Obama's facial expressions.

There was no point in attempting a deep analysis of the debate here since that would be done far better by political experts.


What are Kaboom and Shameez? Cleaning products or the latest music superstars?


So you think he has a soul, then? Funny, I must have missed that.

If his only claim to fame is that he was a POW, and a relatively privileged one at that whose co-POW's have no use for him, (the ones who survived,) I would like to know what he has done lately. He seems a bit fuzzy on his record, probably because it's not what he pretends.


And Bob Dole is dead, I might add.

No wonder Cindy Lou Boo Hoo is addicted to pain killers. If McCain gets elected, we'll ALL be.


I weigh 100 pounds. I am quite portable, although he would probably bang my head against the door jamb in transit. But it's the thought that counts, right?


His contempt was evident. I hope everyone noticed.

In my little post, I refrained from mentioning how good looking Obama is because that is not really a qualification for the office he seeks. But oh, my. He really does dazzle, and not just with words, ideas and ideals.


That Dicktionary is getting quite a workout these days.

I know blowfish. If you tickle their tummies long enough, they actually explode, which was a fascinating science experiment for children the summer I was 8 or 9, and a rotten little boy wanted to impress me. (He failed. I cried for the fish.)

McCain, though. I will only cry for us if he gets elected.

TaraDharma said...

I had to turn off the debate. Like Nick, I used to at least respect John McCain's service. But this campaign has served to show his true colors -- and the fiscal crisis reminds me of JM's involvement in the financial crisis of the 1980s.


seventh sister said...

Anybody stupid enough to say the he plans to cut medicare when he has to have Florida to win deserves to lose and lose big. I don't think he is healthy enough to do very much. He was gasping for breath toward the end of the debate. It would not suprise me if he is unable to finish the campaign. Wouldn't that be interesting?

meno said...

That really was gentle, relative to the things that could be said about this guy who has sold his soul to try and get elected.

PeterAtLarge said...

Interesting that today he opened his speech with "My fellow prisoners"--meaning, I guess, "My fellow citizens." I've lost the link, but you check out the video on The Huffington Post. Yup, we're all prisoners--of the system our "friend" wants to perpetuate. (Thanks for checking in on The Buddha Diaries!)

PeterAtLarge said...

That link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/08/mccain-calls-americans-hi_n_133037.html

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Hi Tara,

Schmuck says it all. So much nicer than asshole.


You raise a very good point about Florida. But I'm sure McCain will finish the campaign even if he has to do it in a coffin. Which would be VERY interesting.


I am always reticent in the expression of my opinions. (Snicker.)


I saw that! Holy moly.

Can you say "senile," children? I knew you could.

The GOP is joking, right?

Jocelyn said...

I ALWAYS want to thank you for your spirited writing.

But today, I want to take a second to thank you for being the reader and commenter on my blog that you are. You have no idea how I value it.

the walking man said...

What I heard was not as important to me as what I heard.

Open two windows and listen to McCain on the campaign trail and McCain in the debate.

The metered tone, the condescension for the national audience is evident in the debate tone.

As a past performance poet I know the importance of the use of tone and inflection and I have to say that McCain missed the mark in using his voice. Not presidential at all.

Actually it rings up as barely human to my ear as it is a staged tone; similar to a robot with little intelligence whether artificial or natural.

Glamourpuss said...

If McCain is a maverick, I'm a gorilla's maiden aunt.


heartinsanfrancisco said...


I LOVE your writing! If I ever miss a post, it will be because I'm in witness protection w/o a computer.


Yes! The deliberate, confidential, underhanded and quietly menacing tone that said "trust me or I'll hurt you" won no hearts and minds here.

He should have just quietly faded away as old soldiers are supposed to do.


I think it far more likely that you are a maverick and McCain is a gorilla's maiden aunt.

Molly said...

Obama definitely comes across as the more statesmanlike candidate. McCain just sounds petty and disgruntled. And the pitbull....well, I think people all over the world are probably laughing at us!

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Well, they used to fear us so laughter is probably a great relief to them.

McCain comes across as a superannuated bag of wind and his running mate brings to mind the old adage about war making strange bedfellows.

Anonymous said...

Amen, Heart. We need universal health coverage.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

I know better than to drink anything over my keyboard and in front of my monitor while I am reading here.

Pardon me, do you have a towel?

McCain is an idiot. The list of reasons for that statement is too long to put here.

Obama has changed the color of this conservative state. That's what he will do to the rest of the country, I have no doubt.

Go team!

If Flip kisses you when you are sick, holds you when you cry, listens when you rant, shares his dessert and remembers your birthday every year, then you are married.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

heartinsanfrancisco said...


We do. It's a disgrace that one of the wealthiest countries on earth doesn't provide that for its citizens.


Thank you for listing the guidelines for marriage. Flip does not share his desserts as willingly as he might. Does this mean we're sort of engaged?

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Not if there has ever been kissing involved with dessert.



Scarlett & Viaggiatore

heartinsanfrancisco said...


You just won't let me off the hook, will you?

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

I bet Flip won't either. He knows what he's got.

Lucky girl!!!!

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Aww, you're so sweet. Thank you.

And now I must go and tell him what he's got if I can keep a straight face.

Victoria said...

Very well said. Every day I wake up and wonder what will McCain do next in his lusty quest for the White House.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


We can be sure it will be dirty, whatever it is.

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