Senator McCain, I am not your friend, you slimy snake-oil salesman, no matter how many times you claimed I was.
I especially enjoyed hearing you contemptuously refer to Senator Obama as "that one." Nice. You're a real class act.
If you had an iota of humility, I could almost sympathize with you as the underdog because you lack Barack Obama's intelligence, dignity, wit, and the fact that he embodies both substance and charisma. But you insisted on hurling the same mudpies over and over even though they missed their mark every time.
You should use some of your wife's inherited money to perfect your golf game and leave governing to those with the energy, education and creativity to bring meaningful change to this country instead of endorsing the same old policies that have driven it into the ground while claiming to be a maverick.
I am not impressed.
McCain thinks that health care is a responsibility. Obama believes it is a right which belongs to every American. So do I, and the sooner, the better.
I wonder if it was a capricious programming error that the presidential debate, with McCain as last speaker, was followed by a Viva Viagra commercial in which a guy in an organ grinder monkey's suit carries his wife over the threshold of their bedroom.
"You never carried me over a threshold," I pouted. "I bet we aren't really even married."
"Well, if you could get me a suit like that, I might," said Flip.
"It will never happen. Besides, they lie. Nobody could get lucky in that suit."
