Thursday, July 19, 2007
I swallowed a cherry pit. From a big, golden Rainier cherry, the kind my mother used to buy in cans marketed as Queen Anne cherries. I once believed that most fruits grew in cans. It is lodged at the base of my throat. I marked the spot with a dab of Blue Flame Mask, in case I need a tracheotomy.
I asked Flip what would happen to me. He was watching a Law and Order rerun. At first I thought he didn't hear me, so I asked him again. "Your hymen will grow back," he said. "It already did," I replied. There was nothing he could say to that. Absolutely nothing. He went back to his show.
I went back to worrying about the effects of swallowing something that was threatening my life. I could barely eat more cherries around it. "Drink some water," said Flip.
"I did. It didn't help."
"Well, drink some more."
"I'm tired of water."
Someone else got shot on Law and Order.
"Do you think I need an ambulance?" I asked.
"Nah, they're already dead."
"I'll probably have a cherry tree growing out of my mouth by morning." The police had themselves a perp. I started to hiccup. "Birds will nest in it. The roots will strangle all my organs, one by one. You will see."
The cat struggled out of my arms and nestled in his lap. He stroked her lovingly. After two dozen half-time commercials, the lawyer segment of the show began. The pretty blond woman ADA believed the perp was innocent. The men wanted a conviction. She sulked, prettily. It turned out she was right. The perp didn't do it. He was covering for his friend. She got fired. The lawyers are the most dangerous people on that show.
Flip will be sorry when it turns out that I'm right, too. When I'm gone, and all he has to remember me is a big cherry tree with birds' nests in it. He'll be sorry he didn't take me more seriously. And his little cat, too.