Monday, February 02, 2009
I have given this a lot of thought and there's just no way around it. I'm jealous of Michelle Obama.
While Air Force One tethered to my back porch railing would be quite handy, what I really covet is having a private chef at my disposal who can whip up spa food with one hand while preparing a banquet for 50 heads of state with the other.
I considered this grave matter while making a salad of baby spinach and strawberries, blood oranges and toasted pine nuts with a light Meyer lemon vinaigrette. I pondered it as I waited for my pumpkin souffle to rise and I brooded over it crafting raspberry mustard-crusted chicken breasts with rice pilaf and honeyed baby carrots.
And what I came up with was this:
I want someone else to do it.
At least some of the time.
And better than I can.
What excruciating bliss to slouch in my favorite chair for hours until the last page of my book, secure in the knowledge that through no fault of my own, an exquisite meal awaits.
I do not require sparrow's tongue on a bed of candied violets or pheasant under glass, but I love meals made of fresh organic ingredients that look as good as they taste. It is not necessary that I claim credit for their preparation.
I would be perfectly happy to arrive at the dinner table, freshly showered and glowing in a gorgeous dress that competes with the floral arrangements, and to wait with a fine linen napkin across my lap for the most sublime delicacies to arrive.
The Obamas decided to retain Cristeta Comerford, the Executive Chef in the Clinton and Bush White Houses. She is the first woman to hold that position. Ms. Comerford will be responsible for every family meal, formal state dinner, and even the children's after school popcorn and hot chocolate.
The sweetness of it all will never be mine.
If I had realized the ramifications of running for political office, the fringe benefits, the possibility of a personal chef, I would have made different life choices.
I would have run for Senator from New York. After all, I am actually from New York, unlike Bobby Kennedy and Hillary Clinton, those impostors. After six months or so, I would run for President on a platform promising good and healthy food for all Americans.
The Fresh Party.
Dishes of all ethnicities would vote for me.
It would be a landslide.
I guess I could run the country if I had to. Presidents have phoned it in before.
Just show me the chef.