Thursday, January 31, 2008

Ticket to Ride

Luuuuu-cy got another parking ticket today. It's been awhile, maybe a year since the last one. Parking tickets are especially heinous in this city, ranging from $40 to $All your blood and your firstborn son, too.

Flip once got one for $189, which seemed like an odd amount, for parking in a tow-away zone, while I have been anointed in the amounts of $40, $60 and $80, depending upon the whim of the parking nazis. I have had more parking tickets than he has, but his was by far the winner. The Mother Ticket. The Big One.

Quality vs quantity.

I always contest them. Occasionally, I win.

The present billet du jour was for parking in a zone restricted for street cleaning near the hospital where I went to have blood drawn. There is a two-hour window for street cleaners and I managed to catch it.

In my defense, the sign was halfway down the block, I parked at the corner and there was a huge SUV parked ahead of me. The sign was not visible. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Does it seem fair to you that I should be bled dry twice in the same day?

The ticket says "can not read." I was quite insulted. Of course I can read. I just didn't see the sign.

Upon further examination, I realized it was my vehicle's vin number that could not be read.

Desi's going to be really mad when he hears about this.


furiousBall said...

$189 dollars for a parking ticket!!! Did you park on a baby? If so, I could see why it was so expensive, not nice to park on babies.

jali said...

I say take a photo showing your parking spot, then one showing the sign. I think judges like it when you're really prepared.

seventh sister said...

Good luck with contesting the ticket. We will all be waiting to see how it goes.

RED MOJO said...

Of couse it's totally UNFAIR!!! Those ass-hats! You definately should contest it. I hope you win. Now for the important stuff, why the blood, are you having tests run? What's wrong? Is something wrong? Hit my email.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


No, no, NO! Parking on a baby is the $472 ticket.


It's often worked for me in the past. The SF parking gods are much harder to appease than those in other places.


Thank you! I'll be waiting to see, too.


Nothing's wrong. My doctor just sics the leeches on me now and then.

Today's phlebotovampirist was great. She didn't have to stick me 42 times looking for a vein.

That happened when I got back to my car.

Anonymous said...

Two words: consider panhandling.

What? It could work. Desi would be none worse for the wear and maybe you could coin the cash for a new roadster...with tags that say can not read.


Anonymous said...

I used to specialize in speeding tickets. Snapped them up like popcorn. But we have so few opportunities for parking illegally out here, that it's just not an issue.

And, I've moved.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I hope you're not charging for this session.


I'm a reformed speeder myself. I also stopped running chronically late, so it all works out perfectly.

*~*Cece*~* said...

*knock on wood* In all my years driving I've never had a ticket of any sort! I rock!

Watch me get a ticket this weekend just for gloating. OY.

meggie said...

Arrgh! the parking gorillas! One council in Sydney actually admitted it was the best revenue raiser they had!

Jocelyn said...

An offense like that shouldn't cost a penny over $188!

They're the criminals, in fact.

Heck, for for the defense. You will have my awe if you manage to get off.

Kapuananiokalaniakea said...

Or you could take a picture of how clean you left your parking spot thereby setting up a very valid case supporting the argument that the spot in which your car was parked did not need street cleaning and therefore you had every right to park there because there was no need to clean that particular section of street.

Besides, I think it's unfair to arbitrarily set up no parking zones in areas in which one has become accustomed to parking.

AND...the ticket clearly says "can't read", which could also apply to the sign that was halfway down the block and obscured by an SUV.

Good luck with the contesting. I'm pulling for you!

Christy said...

That was awful to right "cannot read" on the ticket. How dare they, I would have been insulted too! And wow, that is quite a chunk of change. I'm sorry =o/

Franki said...

Heehee! I got a ticket in NYC for parking in an area alotted for authorized vehicles only. I should go contest it with "I can't read."

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Uh oh. You better watch out. The ticket gods hate gloating as much as Santa Claus hates bad kids.


I don't doubt it. Especially with such stiff penalties.

They probably have a Meter Maid of the Year Award.


I get off about 10% of the time which, while something, is not a great average.

I think they are taken off guard by my audacity.


I need you for my lawyer. I like the way your mind works.


I thought $40 was a lot until I committed higher-priced offenses.

I hope it goes to a good cause.


I'm pretty sure a lot of people in SF can't read, at least in English. And the rest are legally blind.

Of course, they all drive.

WNG said...

Yeah, looks like you got some 'splaining to do! Good luck on getting out of it :) This is why it pays to have at least one friend who's a cop!

Craze said...

Holy crap, the make a killing on parking tickets there! Ya know, I've never had a parking ticket (knock on wood). You've got some splainin' to do! Hope you get out of it!

Nick said...

Meggie's right, parking tickets are basically just a nice little earner. Is there any evidence they actually reduce parking problems? People always find a way round parking restrictions and somehow the roads are all jammed with parked cars despite all the threatening notices.

Bob said...

The first ticket I'd had in YEARS I got when over in Bahrain. Didn't feed the meter in front of the Hard Rock (I'd taken several guys there to buy souvenirs).

But - the car was registered in the name of the wife of the plant manager, not mine. I gave the ticket to the plant HR manager who said he'd "take care of it".

heartinsanfrancisco said...


If you have a cop friend, can I borrow him or her? I'll 'splain later, after I've talked to Ethel.


Never? It's people like you who give people like me a bad name.


It's particularly absurd in a city where there is always an extra row of cars double-parked in the street. And THOSE people never get tickets.


You lucked out. It burns me to have to pay these things when people like my charming next-door neighbor throw them in the garbage with no apparent consequences.

jameil1922 said...

lmao @ "can not read." and did you park on a baby. huh.larious. you should tell them you were insulted by the redundancy of 12noon being as there is no other time for noon to be other than 12.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Good point! It's true. When else would noon be? I may not be able to read signs a block away but I can sure tell time.

katrice said...

For a moment, I was offended FOR you! lol

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I need all the help I can get!

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