I just got off the phone with Melvin from Allstate Insurance. Mel-vin. Melvin is a major dork.
The reason for my call was that for an entire week, I have been unable to reach my local insurance agent. I have left several messages and have also been told by a terminally perky recorded voice which doubtless sports a voluntary blond side-ponytail to call back during regular business hours, which is exactly what I thought I was doing. Today I did a drive-by and the agency door was gated, so perhaps they are a casualty of the economy and failed to inform their clients, which in itself does not engender confidence.
I called the company's 800 number and explained to Mel-vin that since Flip is no longer driving, we need to make changes in our auto policy. We have never been informed that Flip's license was revoked, but presumably it was since by law, his doctor was required to report his condition to the DMV. (This also happened three years ago; the DMV never informed us of his changed status and he drove for eight or nine months without a license. When we finally found out, Flip took a written and driver's test to get it back. He decided not to fight it this time because he had a hard time passing the written test then.) The situation is ironic as he is one of the best drivers in San Francisco, a city where bad driving is a creative art form.
I assumed that our premiums would go down with only one insured driver, but Allstate seems to follow a Lewis Carroll kind of logic which allows them to charge us MORE if there is only one driver.
"Married people get a better rate," Melvin intoned, "because it shows a certain degree of responsibility."
Responsibility THIS, Melvin. I thought I was being responsible by informing them that I was now our only driver.
"So I'll do better if I leave him on the policy even though he's not driving?" I said.
He repeated his one pathetic line. It was apparently the only one he knew. "Married people show a certain degree of responsibility." I really despise pomposity.
Does this not seem a tad archaic to you, to say nothing of discriminatory? A baldfaced policy of sticking it to those who for whatever reason are not married. This is offensive in so many ways that I could catalog them alphabetically, chronologically or haphazardly. Take your pick.
I responded that Allstate was not the only show in town, and that I would be happy to take my business elsewhere. And I will. But I wish I could stick pins in that blowhard Melvin first, and watch the weasel pop.
