Flip: I'm sorry.
Me: (Cranks it up a notch.) I don't feeeeeel well!
Flip: I'm sorry.
Me: No, you're not. It's just an automatic response like "I love you" or "Heil Hitler."
Flip: If I could take it away from you and put it on me, I would.
Me: Oh, GOD, no. That would be worse. For me.
We get into bed.
Me: My feet are cold.
Flip: Your feet are always cold.
Me: No, they're really, really cold.
Flip:
Me: I'm freezing to death through my toes.
Flip: Keep them over there.
Me: You know how many guys would kill to have these feet on them?
Flip: Over. There.
Me: Millions. (Places freezer foot on his legs, which are practically steaming.)
Flip: (Unintelligible pain sounds)
Me: Ahhhh.
Flip: Some day, when you least expect it... POW!
Me: You can't hit me. I'm a GIRL. (Plants second icy foot between his legs.)
Flip: Just get it over with.
Me: You hate me because I'm Jewish, don't you?
Flip: (Buries face in pillow)
Me: It's too hot in here. (Throws off comforter.)
