Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi today announced that the Democrats will change the country's emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the new government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
41 comments:
LMAO!
HinSF: I don't know what kind of condoms Ms. Pelosi is used to, but a condom really should only be used to protect one prick at a time.
But are they ribbed for my pleasure?
mist1, they are ribbed, but the selfish dick in charge turns them inside out so he gets all the pleasure
Cece,
Nice primary colors.
Moontop,
Politicians are adept at screwing many people at a time. (And little else.)
Mist,
I really liked the eagle.
Furious,
Figures.
heart,
will they be Trojan condoms? I've always thought Trojan was a terrible name for a condom brand... I always think of the Trojan Horse.
Law Fairy,
Me, too. It isn't really advisable to giggle when condoms are produced, though.
Why don't they just call them Fifth Column?
Haha, that was great.
And so very true.
are you sure she's not outing bush/chaney's plan? Maybe instead of trojan, it should be magnum - because it can hold a bigger prick.
Thinker,
Sadly, it is so true. We're all being screwed, and I don't think we're enjoying it much.
Olives,
The bigger, the better. Here is a clear instance where size does matter.
OMG. That was too funny. Then throw in the comments and I can't stop giggling.
and remember if it is changed to a condom, there will be no more children for bush to leave behind.
Urchin,
It seems as if Ms. Pelosi will make a difference. Or at least make us laugh.
NotStar,
That's true. So who can we leave behind then?
Very funny. I had heard rumors of Condomomics. I guess it's like voodoo economics??
That was good. LOL
Ouch!
Michael,
Anything that ends in "omics" means more money for the government. Except comics. And they ARE the government.
Mairin,
Thanks for coming by!
Marie,
Stop crying. You're French. :)
And please send croissants.
Great. Just what we need...something else that will enable the government to screw us.
=-)
That was hilarious!
It's been a longggg time since I have laughed so heard at a blog! Reagrding the post... "Ain't that the truth!"
I think it's the thought that counts. Don't you?
I prefer french ticklers myself.
Ryane,
Our government is resourceful and never runs out of ways to screw us.
I think it's called American Ingenuity.
Dave,
Sadly, it is.
Thanks for your visit.
Odat,
Always.
Christina,
Their colors are also red, white and blue, so no one will ever know.
I really, really wanna say something clever and witty here about reservoir tips...but alas, I'm dry.
You again, are brilliant.
Oh, gosh. Um. Well.. it fits! LOL
Peace,
~Chani
Lee,
Dry reservoir tips. Hmmmm. I'm not going to touch that one.
You give me too much credit. I didn't write it; I just shared it.
Chani,
Sadly, it does fit. It's a pretty grim business being so flagrantly violated.
That's funny!
I'm guessing that they won't be take us out to dinner and a movie first.
-velvet
Velvet,
You mean like foreplay? (Snorts.) I don't think so.
Does the word "wham-bam" mean anything to you?
How timely - now that democrats are the majority. ;)
Mudge,
I don't think it matters much anymore who is in power. They are all scurrilous scallywags. (I've always wanted to use that word in a sentence.:)
At first glance of the photo, I thought, "My, what a bright life buoy."
Er, not so much.
You demonstrate here how a couple of sentences can say everything a post needs to.
Well, the Republicans didn't even use lube on us.
Jocelyn,
I thought it was a life preserver, too. (And I guess it is, in a way.)
Kevin,
What a difference K-Y makes...
So what do you think of the new Haliburton condoms the government is sending to the troops?
Jali,
I don't like anything Halliburton does, but I read that troops put condoms on their rifle muzzles to keep out sand. They also use Silly String to help detect trip wires.
I am not for this war, and hate that we keep sending young people to Iraq to die. I believe Bush is doing what he thinks is right, but in my view, he is misguided.
Any innocence I still possessed was destroyed on 9/11, and I feel very gloomy about the future.
I will never look at American politcs the same ....
BUt if they are ribbed they feel extra kick ass while doing it. ;)
Steve~
I've heard they're going to market them to teens to raise political awareness in today's youth. It would be so cute if they came in different colors, red for Republican, blue for Democrat, red and blue striped for independent.
Pendullum,
Well, that's a GOOD thing, right?
Steve,
Especially, as Furiousball pointed out, if they are ribbed on the INSIDE.
Liz,
Yes, really cute. And maybe they could also be color-coded according to sexual preference, striped or polka-dotted for undecideds and double-hitters. All of which seems to fall under the province of politics these days.
Now who can really dispute that we needed a woman in this position? WHOO HOO! How ya like her NOW?
Roonie,
Let's all woohoo for the red, white and blue.
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