Showing posts with label a question or two. Show all posts
Showing posts with label a question or two. Show all posts

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Mysteries I Would Like Cleared Up


1. Why Michelangelo sculpted Moses with horns.

It has been theorized that the artist, who of course was an uber-genius, was demonstrating the common belief that Jews had horns. It's hard to imagine how that one took hold as I have never, personally, seen anyone with horns.

Flip thinks that the two bumps on Moses' head were supposed to represent rays from God. If so, then why are there only two? Surely God could come up with at least five or six of them.

2. Why we can't have Daylight Saving Time all year.

It's just plain stupid to do the time-change dance twice a year when the reasons for it are obsolete: There are so few farmers left in America that their hours should not dictate what the rest of us do.

As for children not waiting at school bus stops in the dark, they end up coming home in the dark instead, so where is the logic in that?

3. Why one cup of coffee produces four gallons of pee.

This would seem to contradict every known law of physics, yet I can absolutely attest to its veracity.

4. Why beings of supposedly high intellect and thumbs willingly, even gleefully, choose lives of servitude to creatures with four legs and a tail who do not even speak English.

Anyone who has a dog or cat knows that no explanation is needed here.


5. Who is Murphy, and why does his Law govern my life when I don't even know him?

Murphy's law states that things will go wrong in any given situation if you give them a chance.

A little-known addendum to Murphy's Law is Flanagan's Precept, which categorically states that Murphy was an optimist.