Wednesday, June 10, 2009


It was bound to happen. Flip wants a digital camera just like mine, although he remained fiercely loyal to his Nikon N-90 and had no interest in the digital, also a Nikon, when I got it. But now he does. In fact, he wants my camera.

"I have a birthday coming," he said. There was positively oil dripping off him.

"You do NOT!" I said. "This is JUNE. I have a birthday in June. Yours is months away." These days it's hard to tell if he is trying to con me or if his memory has lapsed again. He had the grace to look sheepish, just a little.

It's my own fault. I have created a monster. Since his disease appeared in our life, I have worked overtime trying to keep him happy to make up for all he is losing. It was only fair. But it seems I have my limits. I will not give up my birthday for anyone, even him.

"It's not as if I'm Darth Vader," he said reasonably. That helps so much.

"Yeah, well he can't have my camera either."


the walking man said...

Well...he isn't Darth Vader (if I remember correctly Darth lives next door to you) and you don't have to share birthday or camera. But then Fathers day is coming and if his birthday is that far away I must ask...Haven't you ever heard of a half birthday?

I will soon be 55 but I did notice you missed my 54 and a half birthday and I could use a Lamborghini or a Ferrari.

Why not give Flip the camera then constantly borrow it back unless of course he buys you a better one for your upcoming birthday...say a Kodak Instamatic?

nick said...

Perhaps we should all follow the lead of Queen Elizabeth and have two birthdays - a real one and an official one. I'm not sure if she gets twice as many presents though.

Personally I never have the patience to wait for Jenny to give me something as a present. I just go out and buy it right now.

Molly said...

He needs to take lessons from my husband and F-I-L. When they need, or want something badly enough [no Ferrari's or Lamborghinis though--and not for want of lusting after them!]they just go out and buy it. Which means when b'days come around, or Fathers' Day, no-body knows what to get them. I hope you find a way!

meno said...

Do NOT give him your camera. You will never see it again.

How do i know this?

Oh, you know....

Bob said...

"This is not the camera you are looking for."

*said with hand motion at flip"

The CEO said...

There are so inexpensive Nikons that fit in a shirt pocket for about $100 for Father's Day that are digital. I'd make a big deal looking at onee of them, and get him one of these wonderful cameras for Band Leaders Day in June.

LittlePea said...

May be he means that you should get yourself a new camera for your birthday and give him your old one. My own bday is next month and I'm eyeing a new camera too. But sorry, Flip can't have my old one :O)

BTW I just read your last post and I almost wrote an entire tirade about how much I hate people who throw lit cigarettes out the window. I do. But, I didn't want to be negative on such a beautiful day.

LittlePea said...

Oh! And I forgot to mention, my own husband, when he wants something he'll just buy it claiming it's all for 'me.' He does this knowing damn well I'm not interested in it so that he can say, "oh well since you don't want it, I guess I'll just keep it for myself then." yeah. Don't tell Flip.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific. Either/or won't do it.

I thought I had invented half-birthdays as my youngest child was born in December and I was afraid she'd get ripped off so close to Christmas so we celebrated her half-birthday in June.

But Flip does not need one. He gets stuff all year on a daily basis. He has 364 birthdays a year, every day but MINE.


Why does the Queen have two birthdays? Is it so she can spend her real one with her loved ones and be celebrated by her subjects on the other?

As for Flip buying himself what he wants, he has a philosophy of life slightly to the left of whooopeee. I'd rather he ran the bigger purchases through me.


Flip does all right for himself, and considering the fact that he hasn't yet brought home a red Ferrari, I guess I'm doing all right, too.


You couldn't be more right. Everything he touches disappears forever. He is a black hole in the universe.

As for my camera, cold, dead hands is all I have to say about that.


Oooh, you're so smart!!! I love it. I can use this, often.

I'm practicing that dismissive hand wave now.


Excuse me but you're missing the point. I NEED my birthday. It's mine. It's my one day to feel special. He has all the other days. But I will take your advice after it has passed.

Sweet Pea,

I go you one further. I mostly hate smokers, at least the ones who smoke all over me in public. I think I have only one friend who smokes now, and I wish he'd quit.

I hope you get the new camera you want. What kind is it?

Flip used to do your husband's cute little trick with expensive guitars, so theoretically, they all belong to ME.

nick said...

I think the Queen's two birthdays are exactly for that reason. Also so that the public ceremony is at a warmer time of year (June rather than April).

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Lucky Liz. She has even more stuff than Barbie.

Anonymous said...

I have a birthday coming up in a few months - can I have a new camera? Please??

Lone Grey Squirrel said...


the walking man said...

a 69 Volkswagen convertible in mint condition then,

heartinsanfrancisco said...


After mine is over, we'll talk. As long as we're clear that I own June.


Thank you?


When we lived in San Diego, we had a 1970 bug, soft yellow with sunroof, which we completely restored. Everywhere I went, people ooh'd and ah'd and then told me about someone they knew who bought the farm in one.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

He can't have your camera OR your birthday. Good girl. WHEN is your birthday? Are we having a birthday party for you here? We should.

I definitely think you should use Bob's jedi mind trick. That's awesome!

My Nikon (D200) is my *baby*. Everyone knows it. No one even touches it unless I allow them to babysit for a few brief moments.

Mr. Black got into my car and I handed him the camera and said, 'here, you can hold the baby'. Without missing a beat, he replied, 'we gotta get a car seat for this thing'.

Since he has a very merry unbirthday 364 days a year, I think it's not much of a sacrifice for him to wait until his birthday.

What would you like for your birthday?

...half birthdays huh? Hmmm... off to the calendar... I LOVE this idea!

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

On a limb with Claudia said...

ahahahahahaha! You are so funny! :)

Anonymous said...

That's cool. I can wait until September.

heartinsanfrancisco said...


For my birthday, I would like -- a birthday! For years, Flip asked me what I wanted and I said "Everything." I never got it, from which I inferred that it's good to be as specific as possible.

Mr. Black is very lucky to be entrusted with your baby even for a minute, especially since I suspect he is not her father. (I arbitrarily assigned the female gender to your camera baby since your lion baby is a boy.)


Beats crying.


I should be done birthdaying by September, so it works out perfectly.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Yes, but WHEN is your birthday?

Spill it, sister!

We will have a great reason to celebrate around here!

I hadn't thought of the baby as having a gender! Hmm. It would be a girl; no male would ever need to be handled that carefully.
Mr. Black is very lucky, indeed.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

heartinsanfrancisco said...


What kind of males don't need to be handled carefully? And where can I find one?

My birthday is June 24th. (Now THERE'S a present. :)

Jocelyn said...

If he were General Grievous, though, he could use the light sabers in two of his arms to slice off your arms and then use his other two arms to pick up your dropped camera (since you're now defenseless).

Not that I have a six-year-old boy in my life, informing my knowledge base in a way that has now swayed every thought to Star Wars terms.

So typed this Ewok-

heartinsanfrancisco said...


Wow. I am speechless. I was probably the only person in America who didn't like Star Wars. (What can I say? I'm a dork.) I knew a cat named Ewok, though, if that helps, and she probably could have done some serious slicing if she'd had a mind to.