Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Same Ancienne Tale

December is an expensive month. I can't afford to spend money on myself so having just run out of moisturizer, I reverted to my stash of sample products.

The first one I found in my special place for samples was a little tub of cream from Sephora which was not labeled. Since I had no idea what it was, I decided to use it up on my heels, which can always use a softening boost. I have generally soft, smooth skin, but it's clear that when I was assembled, I was mistakenly given someone else's heels, probably those of an alligator.

So I opened the tiny jar and rubbed every bit of cream into my parched heels, which barely noticed. It was then that I remembered what the sample was: Fresh Creme Ancienne, an ultra moisturizer for wealthy skin which sells for $135 an ounce. It also comes in the large economy size at $350 for 3.5 ounces.

Ouch.

Here is the product information: "A modern formulation inspired by the work of Claudius Galenus (Galen), a 2nd century scientist and physician who developed the first known skincare cream and used it as salve to treat burns and wounds, Creme Ancienne combines the core ingredients of Galenus' formula: rosewater, beeswax, and borax with modern day ingredients like, chamomile wax, meadowfoam oil, and vitamin E.

In order to preserve the legacy, craftsmanship, and spirit of this formulation, small batches are prepared entirely by hand in a monastery, with each jar taking up to two days to produce."

You'd think that would make a big difference in my heels, that I would now have heels of silk. But you'd be wrong.

I wonder what else I have in that drawer, and also, what the monks get for their labors. Probably nowhere near as much as the company that sells their product.

I hope they're all tooling around the monastery in fine cars when they're not stirring the pot. Or at least new magic carpets all around.

They must all have great skin.

22 comments:

Open Grove Claudia said...

I have this image of my capuchin friends toiling away for a cream you put on your heels. ahahahaha....

I love those little samples and save them for special occasions. I hope you enjoy your treasured gifts! :)

thailandchani said...

Interesting! It would be interesting to compare labels on those things. I'll bet it's the fragrance that makes them so expensive. Beyond that, it's the same stuff. :)

MsLittlePea said...

If I'm right, that means, "Old Cream," in French. Why would they name it that? Who would pay $135 and ounce for "Old Cream?"

Oh Oh! I just asked my husband and he said it could also mean "Aging Cream," depending on how it's spelled or pronounced. Should we call these monks and let them know?

Sienna said...

This is kinda off track (a little) and perhaps (perverted- a little)...but I was quietly sailing down the Chao Phraya river (Bangkok) one time, and looked across to the banks and caught some monks (semi naked) bathing and washing at the river's edge.

My friend told me to look away, but I kept peeking.

I think I am probably going to rot in hell.

I have just the things for you...(nothing to do with naked monks)..

My sister swears by this, I don't think you have it over there though..hang on mate.

Pam

Angela said...

If you find anything that works, let me know. I'm using the $1.99 emu oil stuff at the moment, and it's not making a bit of difference, either! I'm happy to be in your boat on this one, though.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Claudia,

Oh, I do! I enjoy them like crazy.

Tell Brolo to get cracking, er, stirring.

Chani,

Yes, but the hype is half the cure. You just know that if something is sinfully expensive, it will perform miracles. :)

Sweet Pea,

"Ancienne" means "ancient." (I love cognates.)

I think it refers to the formula, not the person who uses it.

Pam,

Of course you looked. I would expect no less of you.

Did the monks look at you, too?

Angela,

I'm still looking. I have creams, pumices, and once tried sandpaper.

I think it's from walking barefoot in all terrains for many years.

furiousBall said...

boy i have nothing at all to add to a post about moisturizer... my Y chromosome blocks this i'm pretty sure

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Furious,

Well, can you and your chromosomes relate to monks?

Maddy said...

Golly, how very exotic. I made do with eucerin and a pair of tired old cotton socks at night. Does the trick for me.
Your fellow crocodile skin twin
Cheers

This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.

seventh sister said...

I was told by my chiorpractor and my nutritional pharmacist friend to take fish oilsl for cracked heels dry skin. It seems to be working.

Rachel Schell said...

*cough* *choke* *gag*

that's quite a chunk of change for moisturizer. I would also expect it to magically make whatever it touched on my body look like Beonce.

the walking man said...

Dufus...don't fix the heels! what are you going to kick the neighbors walls with then your soft elbows?

geez women, have some foresight.

lol

Peace

mark

jstele said...

You should try dipping your feet in very warm water. It penetrates into the skin. Then, just apply a body cream over the wet skin, rubbing the cream thoroughly into the water and skin. This works great for sealing in the moisture.

I like Lush's "Helping Hands". I don't know how good it is for the feet, though.

Yes, "ancient" would be a great name for the cream because it emphasizes that time honored craftsmanship and use give testament to this precious concoction.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Maddy,

All tips are appreciated. I'm thinking maybe an acid bath would work, something strong enough to take paint off cars.

Seventh,

Vitamin A is good for dry skin in general, but it tastes bad. What else do you have?

Rachel,

Maybe Beyonce has rotten heels, too. You never know.

Mark,

I didn't plan to kick her or her walls with bare feet, Dufus! I was thinking maybe some cute steel-toed hobnail boots would do the job.

Jstele,

Creams do work best on damp skin. I've never heard of Lush's Helping Hands, but I'll check it out.

Thanks for the suggestions.

katrice said...

It's not your heels' fault. Anything that expensive should make your skin soft as the morning dew.

That's the second good thing I've heard about fish oil this week, Seventh Sister. I do know that when my kids had pneumonia, it was the only thing that cleared their lungs.

And if you can stand one more suggestion, I can't live without Pond's Dry Skin Cream. I use my favorite mild cleanser and this, and if I had any sense, I'd drink more water. This combination is the best cure for me, and cheaper than Mary Kay and all her friends.

the psycho therapist said...

/gagging, struggling to hold morning coffee in mouth

HYSTERICAL!

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Not much sleep and laughing this hard was a great way to start the day.

Side note to Sienna,
I think I am probably going to rot in hell.

Also very funny. I can hear you saying that. Great comic timing. Maybe you and Heartsy can do a little act together and take it on the cyber road. Or sumpin.

--

My Reflecting Pool said...

ouch is right. And your heels didnt seem to care about the price tag. I have found that in winter a tub of eucerin cream generously applied covered by a cheap pair of socks works wonders.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Katrice,

I tried Mary Kay products years ago when a friend was selling them. I got hives.

Maybe I could apply fish oil topically since I'm not very good with pills.

Psycho Therapist,

Oops. Sorry about the coffee.

And I'm pretty sure Pam isn't going to rot in Hell. But if she does, we'll all want to be there, too, because it will be a lot more fun than the other place.

Pool,

Cotton socks do help and Eucerin is good stuff. It also doesn't cost hundreds of dollars, which is always nice.

RED MOJO said...

My friend Madge says, soak your feet in some palmolive?! I don't share your plight and have no clue, but some people use pumice stones after bathing, then lotion.
Maybe a little sandpaper, 80 grit should do...I tried.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Mojo,

Sandpaper works pretty well if I can manage to control my enthusiasm.

Crankster said...

Okay, I'll preface this by saying that my wife used to sell beauty products and has spent a great deal of time telling me about the cool ingredients in them and why creme de mer (or whatever that crap that Estee Lauder makes) is worth a fortune.

That having been said, I have to admit that I'd love a job writing copy for bottles of lotion. $135 an ounce for beeswax, rosewater, and borax? What, exactly, are those monks putting in the lotion?!? And, while we're at it, which religion do they belong to? From the sounds of things, they haven't taken vows of poverty.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Crankster,

9/10 of the allure is the glamour, the packaging, the aromas. Hope in a jar.

I am convinced that every woman in the world believes that she is but one product away from being beautiful, if she can just find the right product.