tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post6666962760945673795..comments2023-09-26T04:56:13.105-07:00Comments on Guilty With An Explanation: We'll Always Have Chocolateheartinsanfranciscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-11181942824564180282011-09-22T18:24:51.124-07:002011-09-22T18:24:51.124-07:00Claudia,
I appreciate the support. It helps so mu...Claudia,<br /><br />I appreciate the support. It helps so much.<br /><br />Jocelyn,<br /><br />Thank you for offering to do all that crying for me. It's a rough job but somebody's got to do it.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-85377136548633470012011-09-21T22:10:40.348-07:002011-09-21T22:10:40.348-07:00Having a good cry here--and wishing it would help ...Having a good cry here--and wishing it would help burn off some of your unshed tears. <br /><br />In short: ah, dammit. There aren't words.<br /><br />You and I suffer from the opposite reactions to stress, but our hearts both feel pain. May the chocolate cake have slid down easily and given some satisfaction<br /><br />I'm so sorry, friend.Jocelynhttp://omightycrisis.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-1364052047039765962011-09-19T15:40:34.632-07:002011-09-19T15:40:34.632-07:00My heart breaks for you. Truly breaks. I'm so ...My heart breaks for you. Truly breaks. I'm so sorry. When I think of all the horror and all the pain you've been through and how much you love, I wish there was a better way to say how I feel than 'I'm sorry'<br /><br />My heart breaks for you. You and Flip remain in my thoughts and prayers.On a limb with Claudiahttp://on-a-limb.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-68383850339427401552011-09-16T18:42:37.683-07:002011-09-16T18:42:37.683-07:00Scarlett,
Thanks for your words of encouragement....Scarlett,<br /><br />Thanks for your words of encouragement. It's kind of like learning to function again after an amputation, with apologies to those who have had actual, physical amputations, because that is how it feels to me. While I never lost my identity, the unit Flip and I created together was better. I miss him, and I miss us.<br /><br />Cloudia,<br /><br />I'll bring the cake and we can have it on Waikiki Beach. Deal?<br /><br />Skinny,<br /><br />I learned early on that the only definitive diagnosis for Alzheimer's was autopsy, so that may well be true of Parkinson's and other forms of dementia. Someday they will know more than they do now - we're still in the Dark Ages of medicine concerning some diseases.<br /><br />Laura Lee,<br /><br />I'm sorry about your mom, and the fact that you can't see her as often as you would both like. Most of the residents seem really batty in one way or another. My big triumph was outwitting the guy who stole Flip's eyeglasses and prescription Ray Bans - it took me two weeks to figure out who had taken them but when I did, I got a nurse to retrieve them and stored them up high in Flip's room, above the reach of a guy in a wheelchair. Sometimes you just have to be mean.<br /><br />Maria,<br /><br />FAWN? Dear God, you did her a kindness. Bambi merely sounds like a Playboy bunny, but Fawn? Her parents must have been terminally high on cutesy. I should never complain about bland Susan or even ugly Roberta again.<br /><br />I love ginger in any form at all. I am disappointed that I can't get Peek Frean's Ginger Crisps in SF, and the only store in the city that carries Ginger Altoids hasn't had them for weeks. I am jonesing. Carr's Ginger-Lemon cookies are pretty good, Anna's Ginger Thins so-so. I eat pickled sushi ginger with everything - when I am in eating mode. Which I'm not. Even the fruits and veggies are mostly rotting. I need to be jump started, and think you and Bing should hop on a plane and come out here.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-2116538777870679182011-09-16T17:59:50.964-07:002011-09-16T17:59:50.964-07:00I tend to react as you do. When I am upset or stre...I tend to react as you do. When I am upset or stressed, I either forget to eat or have to force myself. Since I am diabetic, my body reacts strongly if I don't keep my blood sugar up. <br /><br />Bing has helped me immensely with this and since Flip isn't with you to help, try this: just tell yourself that you will treat yourself to one bite. Buy a cupcake instead of a cake. Bing would look at me and say, "All you need to do is take one bite." I'd do it and savor it. <br /><br />Ginger snaps are always a good treat for me because they are small and settle the stomach after they are eaten. Try one. Seriously. <br /><br />How fortunate that you enjoy fruits and vegetables. At least you will be healthy.<br /><br />Thanks for the comment on my blog and I will tell you a secret: her name isn't really Bambi. It's um...Fawn. Not much better, huh? But, I always change up people's names. I try to pick one that either rhymes or is similar in some way and Bambi fit the bill.Mariahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05049511202014141182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-39387922519478112072011-09-16T01:28:34.983-07:002011-09-16T01:28:34.983-07:00going thru similar thing with my mom, in a home wi...going thru similar thing with my mom, in a home with some good people and some wheelchair bitches... although I don't get to see her much, living two states away and broke. sorry to read about the care home troubles... yikes! Yes, pass the chocolate! moments of private, guiltless, unburdened bliss are so necessary!!!Laura Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09122306686225813208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-40087160084392971822011-09-14T21:42:59.692-07:002011-09-14T21:42:59.692-07:00I think you have the right idea about taking care ...I think you have the right idea about taking care of yourself. Your post is actually a positive one, some inspiration for others. <br /><br />The confusion about diagnosis seems somewhat common. My Dad received several different ones, and in many cases I think the doctors just aren't exactly sure. No easy answers sometimes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-64768640958869460812011-09-14T19:50:55.095-07:002011-09-14T19:50:55.095-07:00Choose life - and pass the cake, dear friend
A...Choose life - and pass the cake, dear friend<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Aloha from Waikiki;<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://comfortspiral.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Comfort Spiral</a><br /> <br /> <br /> > < } } ( ° ><br /> <br /><br /> <br /> ><}}(°>Cloudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05853753108637831069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-37804249235443717402011-09-13T09:55:37.606-07:002011-09-13T09:55:37.606-07:00Little pleasures like this one (chocolate cake) ar...Little pleasures like this one (chocolate cake) are monumental in the face of facing the unthinkable. Eat the whole cake, not just one piece.<br /><br />Remember that each day counts; each one is priceless and try to find at least one good thing in it; you already live this way, finding good in things that seem coated thickly in black veneer. <br />Find one good thing, at least, every day, because at some point these days will be gone; shadows and memories, and you'll want the good things to shine like stars in the dark night of these days. <br /><br />Much love, hope and peace. <br />And piece of cake... chocolate. <br /><br />Good girl. <br /><br /><br />XOXO<br />Scarlett & ViaggiatoreWanderlust Scarletthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00551514192060606454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-39817683688456545102011-09-12T22:19:33.312-07:002011-09-12T22:19:33.312-07:00David,
You are my kind of doctor. But is it ok if...David,<br /><br />You are my kind of doctor. But is it ok if I don't eat the shoes?<br /><br />Bob,<br /><br />The farmers' market is always good, even a visual feast. It's one of my weekly pleasures. Since life is made up of moments strung together, I do think we should make as many of them pleasant as possible.<br /><br />Jo,<br /><br />I know that Flip would not want me to give up living, but I'm very sad that we can't go on living together as we always planned to do. I think I'm still hoping for a miracle.<br /><br />Ian,<br /><br />Thank you for that.<br /><br />Voyager,<br /><br />It's so nice to have you here again. It's unbelievably painful, probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-53176516769776300092011-09-12T15:59:15.478-07:002011-09-12T15:59:15.478-07:00Oh my. I have not been to your blog in a while, an...Oh my. I have not been to your blog in a while, and I did not know your husband's condition had gone this far. My prayers (to whomever)and thoughts are with you. I can't imagine watching your beloved one go through this. <br />J.Voyagerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02116163756128298793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-9418484352522438952011-09-12T14:37:17.827-07:002011-09-12T14:37:17.827-07:00Prayers go with you dear friend.Prayers go with you dear friend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-77084143722261949292011-09-12T10:52:03.373-07:002011-09-12T10:52:03.373-07:00Oh, Susan, that is precisely why God invented choc...Oh, Susan, that is precisely why God invented chocolate.<br /><br />I wish I could say more to help you feel better. There is just nothing to say...<br /><br />I watched an interview yesterday with some of the widows of 9/11. They all said that, at the time of 9/11, they thought they could never go on with their lives again. But somehow their lives did go on, just in a slightly different way. I think Flip would want your life to go on. He loves you as much as you love him.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03382221688268676914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-34557043691387133662011-09-12T09:53:00.918-07:002011-09-12T09:53:00.918-07:00sometimes the hardest lesson to learn in times lik...sometimes the hardest lesson to learn in times like this is that your life goes on. It is no disrespect to Flip to acknowledge that you have to continue living. After all, your ability to advocate for him is diminished if you do not keep your health up.<br /><br />I hope that you found something at the farmer's market - and ate it.Bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13690660290319444722noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-34537574668541359382011-09-11T21:26:36.397-07:002011-09-11T21:26:36.397-07:00whatever disease(s) Flip has been diagnosed with d...whatever disease(s) Flip has been diagnosed with does not take away from whatever the disease is that is eating at him. It can be called a million things, he can take a gazillion drugs but the blackness is still there. You have done all you can, the doctors (for the most part) have acted in good faith and Lewis has been cruel and unjust — whatever, whomever Lewis is. <br /><br />You have hit upon the perfect cure of this Sunday -- chocolate cake. I prescribe two pieces daily. And a pair of shoes.<br /><br />Dr. DavidAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-85627871980228362012011-09-11T19:05:50.296-07:002011-09-11T19:05:50.296-07:00Babe,
No cake yet - I found I just wasn't int...Babe,<br /><br />No cake yet - I found I just wasn't into it after all. But I went to the farmers' market this morning because if anything can tempt me to eat, it's fruit and veggies.<br /><br />Agent,<br /><br />When I was six, my great-grandfather died and my parents took me to the after-funeral gathering at which food was served. I asked my mother if it was right to eat when someone had just died, and she said, "Grandpa would want us to eat." But even then grieving and eating seemed incompatible to me. I'm trying, though.<br /><br />Tanya,<br /><br />I'm sure there are people if I would only ask.<br /><br />Calvin,<br /><br />The image of a squirrel in hip waders makes me smile. Thank you for the solidarity. What greater compassion could anyone have than to eat chocolate cake with another?<br /><br />Paula,<br /><br />It's still in my future, but that's a good thing, right?<br /><br />Lisa,<br /><br />Thank you. All who know you in any capacity are blessed to have you in our lives.<br /><br />Elaine,<br /><br />How sad about your mother. I have often succumbed to the magical belief that if only I try hard enough, I can do (fill in the blanks.) But sometimes it isn't possible, despite my best efforts. <br /><br />Thank you for always being a truly wonderful real-life friend.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-52684174211426972872011-09-11T14:57:52.783-07:002011-09-11T14:57:52.783-07:00I hope you are able to find that cake! Life affir...I hope you are able to find that cake! Life affirming actions are good things at times like these. <br /><br />My mother had that "speaking real words, with inflection, but in a nonsense order" thing going on. I would find myself tensing up and leaning in - as if by putting more effort into listening, I'd be able to break her code. So sad.<br /><br />You are in my heart.Elaine Stewardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11045510145482514161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-47357618793872308102011-09-11T11:05:25.953-07:002011-09-11T11:05:25.953-07:00My love to you and Flip, Susan. I'm very glad...My love to you and Flip, Susan. I'm very glad to read that you are at least thinking about eating again -- and I hope by now you have done so. I was also glad to read that you were getting some sleep. And I'm positive that if you let yourself cry, you will eventually stop... and then sleep and eat perhaps more easily afterward. Love love love.mischiefhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12837189368963587932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-48540122329945562892011-09-11T09:56:29.965-07:002011-09-11T09:56:29.965-07:00I hope you have eaten the cake by now. Please be ...I hope you have eaten the cake by now. Please be kind to yourself.Paulahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06625526746032032681noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-14065157714219098862011-09-11T07:51:09.097-07:002011-09-11T07:51:09.097-07:00Not trying to be glib or witty but using your own ...Not trying to be glib or witty but using your own imagery, I would like to say that all of us would be happy to share chocolate cake with you in hip waders if that means you can release the tears that weigh so heavily when remained bottled up. As Mark said, you have our respect and you have our love too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-66449946435039241012011-09-11T07:32:30.191-07:002011-09-11T07:32:30.191-07:00Is there anyone local who can sit with you while y...Is there anyone local who can sit with you while you experience some of this grief? Someone who can hold you and let you cry or not cry, talk or not talk?Tanya Brownhttp://www.tanyabrown.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-71427826411250481362011-09-11T07:30:06.620-07:002011-09-11T07:30:06.620-07:00I am so, so glad to hear this - I've been worr...I am so, so glad to hear this - I've been worrying about you not eating because I do the very same thing when I am anxious or grieving. At this point taking care of yourself is the only sane thing to do.As for crying, we have an endless supply of tears. I'm a believer in crying.secret agent womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03763879283931347382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-23435922477025024432011-09-11T03:17:08.995-07:002011-09-11T03:17:08.995-07:00Did you already find the cake and eat some of it? ...Did you already find the cake and eat some of it? I hope that is symbolic of the fact that you are now going to definitely be aware of how you are treating yourself. You love Flip, you have all but walked in his shoes for such a long time. You are doing the best you can to be involved in his care and protect him from life's unfairness while seeing to his care. If we are not living your life we have no idea of the reality of your every day and every minute pain. You are in our thoughts often and we are sharing the cake with you in spirit.CiCihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08615265608675467505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-62804156811865383102011-09-10T20:59:20.284-07:002011-09-10T20:59:20.284-07:00Tara,
Maybe I'll eat some tomorrow. I went ou...Tara,<br /><br />Maybe I'll eat some tomorrow. I went out and then found I really had no desire for anything but sleep, so I am giving myself a rain check on that cake.<br /><br />Paula,<br /><br />From everything I've read, Parkinson's symptoms vary enormously from person to person. Flip had memory problems for a few years before his AD diagnosis, but was told it was "just stress" because he was so young. <br /><br />I'm so sorry for all you and your husband have been through. It boggles the mind that he has survived so many incidents, so he must be very strong. I have no doubt that your strength, too, is phenomenal. Good luck with your continued struggle.<br /><br />ER,<br /><br />I like your attitude.<br /><br />Nick,<br /><br />It's harder to watch every day. I feel so helpless, and I have never liked that feeling. <br /><br />Pam,<br /><br />Chocolate cake and whiskey sounds like an excellent remedy, if only I were a drinking person. I've never developed a taste for liquor and am allergic to wine, which I do like. But I have often thought how comforting it would be to lose myself in a bottle of something. <br /><br />e,<br /><br />Thank you for your fine advice, and when I weigh 500 pounds, it will be all your fault.<br /><br />Eslocura,<br /><br />I'm so glad the hurricanes didn't get you. Hang in there, and please do eat cake in solidarity with me anytime, and often. <br />Abrazos<br /><br />Mark,<br /><br />Hearing about the loss of your children makes me want to cry, too. I'm so sorry for all that. Once again you have proved yourself to be unusually caring and selfless by being able to appreciate their stepfather's kind treatment of them. It's very rare, and everything I know of you makes me respect you, too, more and more.<br /><br />You are right in all you've said here, and the truth is that even if I had known this was coming, I would still have married Flip. I can't imagine why we have had to pay such a high price for our happiness, but I suspect it has to do with balance. Life seeks balance in all things, and we were extremely happy together, so now we are unhappy to the same degree. Or maybe life is just capricious and like insects, we do the best we can to survive until we can't anymore.<br /><br />Sending the most loving thoughts to you.<br /><br />Molly,<br /><br />If I ever unleash them on the world, the waters will rise everywhere, and we'll all be eating cake in hip waders.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-10797974395720691012011-09-10T19:32:06.963-07:002011-09-10T19:32:06.963-07:00Everything I could try to say has been said above,...Everything I could try to say has been said above, by others, more eloquently.... I hope you enjoy every crumb of that cake and that it helps. My heart breaks for all those bottled up tears of yours though....mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03797484583400519909noreply@blogger.com