tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post3066439475577167709..comments2023-09-26T04:56:13.105-07:00Comments on Guilty With An Explanation: Self-Inflicted Gold Starsheartinsanfranciscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-32780381404264889202008-05-19T18:30:00.000-07:002008-05-19T18:30:00.000-07:00Angela,I just wish people would give me credit for...Angela,<BR/><BR/>I just wish people would give me credit for knowing how to use my eyes and ears. Trust me, I WILL notice when they do good things, but it's so much nicer when they haven't boasted about it.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-32895928735727215542008-05-19T11:09:00.000-07:002008-05-19T11:09:00.000-07:00I don't usually find much value in quoting scriptu...I don't usually find much value in quoting scripture, but I remember growing up with a verse that said something like, "When you do good, do it in secret. The person who brags about what he/she has done has already received their reward." That ego motivates some people to give what they wouldn't otherwise give may be a good thing (i.e. the end justifying the means), but it's bothersome to me to have to sit and listen to people talk about all the good they're doing. Bugs me, too.Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09609676792430545424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-74862079778059127752008-05-18T10:53:00.000-07:002008-05-18T10:53:00.000-07:00Jocelyn,Yes, a person could get the idea that is w...Jocelyn,<BR/><BR/>Yes, a person could get the idea that is was all about her, if they were so inclined.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-87447991250384172962008-05-16T23:04:00.000-07:002008-05-16T23:04:00.000-07:00Go, Matthew!Sounds like her good deeds had become ...Go, Matthew!<BR/><BR/>Sounds like her good deeds had become like the weather for this woman--the thing she needed to talk about with every passing person, as a way to draw them both into some sort of commonality (in this case, admiration of her).Jocelynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03227519811818290510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-42513933030273951222008-05-16T10:47:00.000-07:002008-05-16T10:47:00.000-07:00Rage,I'll have to read your take on it. "The greed...Rage,<BR/><BR/>I'll have to read your take on it. "The greedy side of giving" is wonderful.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-32061422545098888362008-05-15T23:04:00.000-07:002008-05-15T23:04:00.000-07:00I ranted about this as well -- I called it the 'gr...I ranted about this as well -- I called it the 'greedy side of giving.' I think you're right on.The Quiet Ragehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00715816500058905876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-52524422090968296162008-05-15T20:49:00.000-07:002008-05-15T20:49:00.000-07:00Liz,I'm not too impressed with the magnitude of he...Liz,<BR/><BR/>I'm not too impressed with the magnitude of her sacrifices.<BR/><BR/>Crankster,<BR/><BR/>Your comment blows me away. I love the idea that good, let loose in the world, becomes its own merit.<BR/><BR/>When you put it like that, I have to find comfort, too, in the fact that no matter how badly we screw up, the world proceeds.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-75802316254085888582008-05-15T20:44:00.000-07:002008-05-15T20:44:00.000-07:00You've hit on a big question. The thing of it is,...You've hit on a big question. The thing of it is, organized religion is based on the notion that, left to our own devices, we would do little beyond eat, defecate, and pursue the spread of our own DNA. It then frightens us into good behavior by threatening us with the boogyman if we fail to do well.<BR/><BR/>Beyond that, even those who aren't religiously inclined only do good because of a notion of societal efficiency or a belief in Karma. Or, in the case of your neighbor, because they see it as a position-enhancing action.<BR/><BR/>Still, egotism gets libraries built, symphonies funded, schools staffed, scholarships endowed, and so forth. I guess I'd have to argue that, once good is let loose in the world, it stands on its own merits. Regardless of our intentions, we are, at least to a certain extent, only the tools by which the world proceeds.<BR/><BR/>Oddly, I find that idea comforting.Cranksterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02963261408896541210noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-21637679227375554092008-05-15T12:04:00.000-07:002008-05-15T12:04:00.000-07:00The phrase that comes to mind is "savior mentality...The phrase that comes to mind is "savior mentality" -- she's totally going down that road with the bragging and hyping up her own sacrifices.Liz Dwyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17794296990587989214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-3045144956887894602008-05-14T16:27:00.000-07:002008-05-14T16:27:00.000-07:00Citizen,It IS cheesy in the same way kissing and t...Citizen,<BR/><BR/>It IS cheesy in the same way kissing and telling is.<BR/><BR/>End of story.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-86122335198287659192008-05-14T12:40:00.000-07:002008-05-14T12:40:00.000-07:00I guess, in the grand scheme of things, I'd rather...I guess, in the grand scheme of things, I'd rather have a self-congratualtory person who does charitable acts than a quiet person who does nothing for anyone else, BUT it does seem cheesy. I most admiire the people who quietly go about the business of helping others (or the world) when they can and don't require a lot of recognition and praise.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-38616330795903298952008-05-14T10:00:00.000-07:002008-05-14T10:00:00.000-07:00Rebecca,Naw, I ain't.(Now I'm blushing.)Rebecca,<BR/><BR/>Naw, I ain't.<BR/><BR/>(Now I'm blushing.)heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-53286920975480010392008-05-14T09:50:00.000-07:002008-05-14T09:50:00.000-07:00I blush...'specially since you are a much finer wr...I blush...'specially since you are a much finer writer than I.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08854080140004540619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-76207081600309257122008-05-13T18:01:00.000-07:002008-05-13T18:01:00.000-07:00St. Nick,Exactly.It may still do someone good, but...St. Nick,<BR/><BR/>Exactly.<BR/><BR/>It may still do someone good, but ceases to be a mitzvah to the one who boasts of doing it.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-53492598039576409982008-05-13T17:47:00.000-07:002008-05-13T17:47:00.000-07:00I really like the primary concept expressed by the...I really like the primary concept expressed by the Hebrew word “Mitzvah” upon which that Mathew text is based. True, a mitzvah is an “act of human kindness.” However, it isn’t just any good deed because, if you tell someone you did it, then it is no longer a Mitzvah.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16939152657551690867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-76396511783634025792008-05-13T11:14:00.000-07:002008-05-13T11:14:00.000-07:00Rebecca,That was beautifully said, all of it, and ...Rebecca,<BR/><BR/>That was beautifully said, all of it, and took my breath away.<BR/><BR/>Will you write my posts for me?heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-48767931219598957212008-05-13T11:10:00.000-07:002008-05-13T11:10:00.000-07:00I believe that if you are doing a good deed, the o...I believe that if you are doing a good deed, the only one who needs to know is you. If, in conversation, you divulge that you are doing volunteer work for a specific organization, fine. I don't think the biblical admonition to remain anonymous applies. Where your neighbor erred is in (repeatedly) telling how she rearranged her schedule, etc., and not allowing you to assist by going to the hardware store. She was acting in a boastful, covetous way thereby diminishing her act.<BR/><BR/>I agree that good deeds need to be performed, and the more the better. And I would not criticize a person for rambling on about their supposed altruism, but I would recognize that it was more about satisfying that person's ego or polishing their appearance in the eyes of others than about truly helping another person. The person helped is simply a vehicle for the "giver's" own aggrandizement.<BR/><BR/>The benefit of giving is to the giver's soul, and is best reflected upon in the silent places therein. The world will know of your act, not by the telling, but by the effect it has upon you as you walk through the world.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08854080140004540619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-47188440058653480712008-05-13T09:12:00.000-07:002008-05-13T09:12:00.000-07:00David,What a lovely saying, which I've never heard...David,<BR/><BR/>What a lovely saying, which I've never heard.<BR/><BR/>It's sad when those who are helped feel the need to give something in return, although maybe it makes them feel less like they are getting charity. It turns generosity into commerce, which is so overemphasized in our culture.<BR/><BR/>But you can have all my tootsie rolls. <BR/><BR/>Ian,<BR/><BR/>I think ego takes away from the act of giving, although people in need are still being helped.<BR/><BR/>I saw George Shearing at Birdland in my teens!<BR/><BR/>Elvis Presley was also an anonymous donor. He adopted a little town in TN and the residents always seemed to get what they needed: a bag of money, a child's bike, delivered in the night to their doorsteps.<BR/><BR/>They had their suspicions about who their benefactor was but couldn't prove it. When Elvis died, the largesse did, too.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-70130105624813116692008-05-13T08:33:00.000-07:002008-05-13T08:33:00.000-07:00I think your good deeds must speak for themselves ...I think your good deeds must speak for themselves and they do not include bragging rights at all. To me it takes from the effect and becomes an ego thing. that's not how it's meant to work. On the other hand, at least your neighbor is doing something, and so many in our society do utterly fuck all to give back.<BR/>It reminds me of something told me years ago. I interviewed (to my delight) blind jazz pianist George Shearing. Shearing was a great buddy of Sinatra's and wouldn't countenance a bad word against the man. Well, I'd always loved Frank's musical prowess as well as his acting, so I was fine with that, despite the fact he could be a notorious shit at times.<BR/>Anyway, Shearing told me that FS gave away literally millions to charity every year and he would find specific cases of people in distress to help out. His caveat was, however, that the recipient of his benificence must never know the source, and his acts of generosity must never be publicized. That to me is true charity.Ian Lidsterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14106994463366766471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-25053774722044070302008-05-13T08:07:00.000-07:002008-05-13T08:07:00.000-07:00"Flowers always leave a fragrance in the hand that..."Flowers always leave a fragrance in the hand that bestows them." No need for bragging, if one is truly giving.<BR/><BR/>We don't need to get anything in return if we are giving to a cause or with purpose. Do we really need a Tootsie Roll (and I LOVE Tootsie Rolls) as a thank you "gift" when we give to the Red Cross or Veterans guy hanging out in the middle of the intersection? I hope not. I wish they didn't give us that. Giving is a gift enough.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-91098502630346463872008-05-12T10:22:00.000-07:002008-05-12T10:22:00.000-07:00Mariposa,Asking friends to perform charitable acts...Mariposa,<BR/><BR/>Asking friends to perform charitable acts with you is not the same as bragging because you are motivating others, and you all get to share the joy of giving.<BR/><BR/>Rise,<BR/><BR/>So true. I believe that we are supposed to be helping each other as a matter of course, but ego distorts even the most glorious acts.<BR/><BR/>Wng,<BR/><BR/>Yes, certainly the fact that someone was helped is most important. Maybe after she's done it for awhile, it will become her normal behavior and not newsworthy anymore.<BR/><BR/>Craze,<BR/><BR/>It's the personal agenda I object to, not the giving, no matter what inspires it.<BR/><BR/>In an ideal world, giving would be unheralded but still, from a pragmatic point of view, better to give and brag than never to give at all.heartinsanfranciscohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07535397382991383931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-91591473682162952932008-05-12T09:46:00.000-07:002008-05-12T09:46:00.000-07:00I agree with you. Giving to satisfy some personal ...I agree with you. Giving to satisfy some personal agenda of your own is not quite the same.MEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04121865529773663081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-90957128474949396202008-05-12T07:39:00.000-07:002008-05-12T07:39:00.000-07:00In the eyes of the univers, or God, or maybe even...In the eyes of the univers, or God, or maybe even you the act may be diminished, but in the eyes of the kid who got her keychain fixed it is just a miraculous. If others need to brag then that is their need, I'm just grateful she did something worth bragging about.Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00900726730265994177noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-60713829302974164182008-05-12T01:10:00.000-07:002008-05-12T01:10:00.000-07:00Our egos get in the way all the time, don't they?H...Our egos get in the way all the time, don't they?<BR/><BR/>Helping others is our way of pulling our own weight ... not something that should require acknowledgement or praise. Needing to speak of it displays an inner need to be recognised as a worthy human being. How can we not be compassionate?riseoutofmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14900369522350465257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29674249.post-57574384309841746412008-05-11T23:05:00.000-07:002008-05-11T23:05:00.000-07:00I so agree with Matthew! Well, sometimes, I do get...I so agree with Matthew! Well, sometimes, I do get to share acts of charity with friends too, but only because at the end, I'm inviting them to join me or help in any way they can.<BR/><BR/>That neighbor of yours seemed to have rehearsed her story so well. And it's not doing good because rather than enticing people to follow her acts...it makes them cynical!Sai Hijara - Ferrarishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05520502217532479038noreply@blogger.com